I'm feeling kinda down right now and there's no one to talk to about it coz i don't think anyone in particular will be interested to hear about my problem coz frankly, i'm not really into the topic either that's why it's one of my problems...ang gulo ko!

Anyways, here's the thing. I was the newly appointed Training Coordinator for our project at work and there are tons of paperwork and surveys and metrics and stuff to do which i couldn't really grasp and understand when the role and its correspoding tasks were transitioned to me last December...so i guess i put off understanding the role completely..

Up until now, i still don't really grasp all the stuff that i have to do, what i hoped was that i'd gradually get it as time goes by..but that would mean missing an number of requirements...but i just kept it at the end of my priority list..

Then suddenly, there are these sets of interviews ongoing this week to assess how the project is doing and i, as the training coordinator, am going to be interviewed tomorrow! Basically, the team measuring the project's performance is gonna ask me if i have been doing my tasks and if the team members are amply aware of the trainings they have to take and some basic procedures, etc.

The thing is, i am not ready and the team members are not aware. Hayyy, this really makes me feel so bad!!! After cramming for the interview, i found out just tonight that there are so many documents and stuff that i'm not updating! I'm gonna get killed in tomorrow's interview no matter how nice the interviewer is.

I dont' really wanna tell any of co-workers about this in detail coz i feel that this topic is kinda boring to them, i dont' wanna tell Richard either coz he's going to Boracay tomorrow and these things will probably be just dust in the wind to him or something. Maybe i could tell Aldrich but he's not around anymore and i just dont' wanna bother him right now, coz i just bothered him last night...so there, no one to tell...but my blog.

I'm still at the office and i'm still feeling crappy about myself. There's nothing i can do anyway to salvage what i didn't do. I guess i'd just tell them that everything's in progress and i'll make up for the tasks in the future...boohoo!

I just finished watching the delayed telecast of the Morales vs. Pacquiao game and because I am a cheesy person , I got affected by the post game interview with the Pacman, hehehehe. Those idealistic/nationalistic cries of the interviewer, “Ngayon walang reli-relihiyon, lahat tayo isang bayan na sumusuporta kay Manny Pacquiao…”. I feel stupid but hey, I like those kinds of stuff.

It makes you feel that somehow a sense of nationality, a sense of oneness is still present even with all clashes arising from different cultures, different beliefs, and different people in the country. Yes, there is still unity among the Filipinos—and it only comes when Pacquiao has a boxing match! Hahahahahah! Kakaiba talaga ang Pilipinas noh?

Okay enough of my cheesiness. I owe whoever still reads my blog around two months worth of posts! Of course, now, it’s all condensed! Tadaa…

Two Months in a Flash

FEB 1: CHOCOLATE MAKING DEMO

It was only this year that I found out that Powerbooks gives free cooking demos! I attended their Chocolate Making Demo in preparation for Valentine’s Day—not that I have anyone to give the chocolate to on that day, anyway! (haha, bitter :p)

“So that’s what the oven and kitchen looking countertop is for!”—that was one of the first things that came to my mind when I got to the class held at Powerbooks Greenbelt 4. I thought the kitchen-looking setup of the cooking section was just a creative way of thematizing the bookstore! Apparently, it’s functional, too!

Anyway, it was French Kiss who gave the demo and well, it was okay. Not really anything spectacular and the demonstration was a bit disorganized but overall, I guess I’d give it an 8 out of 10 for presentation. I also noticed that the recipes were awfully whipped cream-heavy, I’m semi-allergic to whipped cream unfortunately—my chest tightens and I have trouble breathing when I take whipped cream-- so maybe that’s one reason why I wasn’t able to appreciate the class that much.

Here’s the list of recipes, they call it “Real Easy Romantic Valentine’s Day Recipes”

Orange Hot Chocolate, Rocket Sundae, Extra Rich Hot Chocolate, Warm Chocolate Sauce, Easy, Chocolate Pudding, Chocolate Pudding Trifle. What’s nice was that they had free samples for everything, although not for everyone, hehehe. I think I tasted the Extra Rich Hot Chocolate and Chocolate Pudding Trifle. After the demo, I headed straight to the gym to burn off what I ate!


FEB 6: LUNCH @ LESLIE’S TAGAYTAY

I can say that I enjoyed having lunch with my family. I wasn’t worrying about what time it was already, or if there’s a signal on my phone, or if I’d feel my phone vibrate or beep when someone calls or sends me a message. I had no worries, zilch! I simply enjoyed being there, eating the delicious food, and basking in the beautiful view of Taal lake. Hey, I just realized that I’m actually less tense and stressed nowadays in the personal life department! Ah, the joys of being single, heheheh.


FEB 12: LONG GONE ANYBODY

Read this book if you want to be disturbed. Well, i was very much disturbed just halfway through the book. Maybe because I could relate my life at times to what the character is feeling—wandering aimlessly, searching, running away, hiding? Nonetheless, the ending is nice, that’s why I recommend it! Here’s a short write-up:

Long Gone Anybody by Susannah Waters

'This humane novel of a teenager desperately seeking her runaway mother has an edge and a sexiness that keeps you turning the pages'
Suzannah Dunn

Where do people go when they disappear?

The boy you went to school with, the girl who shared your university room for a term, the neighbour you glimpsed through the curtains - where did they go when they left?

A nineteen-year-old runs away from her life and keeps on running. Haunted by the unexplained departure of her mother four years earlier, she is looking and not looking. Adopting one identity after another - female escort, apple-picker, cashier, canvas girl in a travelling circus - she is afraid to slow down for fear of what, or who, may catch up with her. When anonymous postcards start to arrive at every place she goes, she is finally forced to confront the fate of her long-gone mother. Can this runaway-girl escape the same end?

In a compulsive and moving novel riddled with family secrets, a predictably happy ending is never a guarantee. But one thing becomes certain; people can only ever save themselves.

'A diverting, characterful voice.'
Daily Mail

FEB 14: VALENTINE’S DAY

After 5 years of having someone special to share the day of hearts with, i found myself single on Valentine's Day. Of course, reminiscing simply can't be helped...The dinner dates, the concerts, the presents, the memories....
This year's valentines day was really different not only because i was single but because of the things that happened. Yes, the explosion of the RRCG bus right under the Ayala MRT was one of them! On a more personal note, i was feeling kinda sad when i went to work coz of some foiled plans but eventually went home quite happy! =)

Wine Tasting 101
My officemates and I planned to take one of the company-sponsored self-improvement classes: WINE TASTING 101. I was sooo excited! I was the one who told my officemates to sign up on Feb 14 since we didn’t have dates anyway, so why not enjoy the night with friends, right? Well, it turned out that every single one of my friends were enrolled into the class except moi! Why? Well, for the simple reason that I already took the class before! I didn’t know you couldn’t take a class twice!! Hahaha! It really never passed my mind when I was so busy and excited gathering people to sign up for the class. Grabe, sobrang sama talaga ng loob ko nun!

I guess the policy is to give chance to others. The class I attended was the pilot class for wine tasting. I think I took it mid-December with Aldrich. We tasted 3 white wines first followed by 3 red wines. There were soda crackers in between to either keep us sober longer or to wash away the taste of the previous wine tasted. Going to that Wine Tasting class was an absolute adventure! The class was slated to start at 7:00pm and if we were late after the grace period of 30 minutes, we had to pay the actual course fee!! That’s P1200 off our already tax and miscellaneous deduction-laden paychecks!

Anyway, Aldrich and I planned to leave the office (GT Tower, end of Ayala Ave) an hour before the class in 6750 building (beside Glorietta). However, due to unforeseen events, we weren’t able to stick to our time. I think we left the office at 6:30pm and that was rush hour already! The initial plan was to ride the shuttle (a.k.a. colorum FX) but then the line was too long. So the next option was to ride a taxi, but there were no vacant taxi’s! We rode the bus instead, but the traffic was so heavy that the bus was moving at a rate of a feet per five minutes! That’s when we decided to get off the bus and brisk walk, but the bus conductor wouldn’t let us off! At a rate of one feet per 5 minutes, the bus was able to inch away from the Loading/Unloading zone! We had to wait until we got to the next Unloading terminal till we could get off! Argh! After another five minutes of waiting, we hopped off the bus and walked our way to 6750. Aldrich didn’t have much of a problem but I was wearing heels! Kitty heels but they’re still heels! We even jaywalked crossing the wide, wide stretch of Ayala Ave. and Makati Ave.! We had to run so the MMDAs won’t apprehend us, hahahah! We finally got to the class tired and out of breath, and the coordinator even took a picture of us! We got there just in time by the way, around 2 minutes to spare before we got fined with a thousand plus pesos, whew!

Valentine Kringle
Aldrich, the ever scheming jokester at work, initiated this exchanging of gifts during Valentines. Guys were supposed to give the girls flowers while the girls would give the guys chocolates. I don’t know why I suddenly backed out. I think a wave of grumpiness came over me and I acted out of impulse. So there, on the big day, I was expecting to go home without anything at all while most of the girls would get bouquets of flowers, awwww….

But hey, I was wrong!

The first memorable thing that marked my Valentine’s Day this year was that around 11 am at work, the messenger came up to me with a delivery of flowers! Wow! Of course I was flattered, and excited to know who gave it. So I scrambled to open the card…but there was no signature!! It just said: “Grace, Happy Valentine’s Day!” Gosh! I was given 3 beautiful tulips wrapped in nice green cloth-paper, with some leaves around and a ribbon to tie them all together. They were in the most beautiful color of orange that I’ve seen—the mixture of deep orange and a tinge of yellow just like the sky when the sun starts to set.

My Sunset-Orange Tulips

I’m not an expert on flowers since I usually just receive roses. So when I first got the flowers, I was like, “Hmm, what flower is this and why is it orange?” Hahahah, but after some researching and some gushing from office mates (“Wow, tulips! Mahal yan ah!”) I was like, “Ohhhh” And they are pretty! I even asked one of my officemates who had a digicam handy to take a picture of them for posterity. Whoever gave those flowers to me, I just hope he knows how much I appreciate the flowers and how it turned my day around! Thank you!


Free Concert
Sometime in December, Ayala Corporation along with Starbucks sponsored a free concert at Philippine Stock Exchange in Makati. This time around, it was Freestyle who played during Valentine’s Day! Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world! I went with a bunch of my friends at work..We walked from GT Tower to PSE and luckily got there a few minutes before the concert started =) It’s just kind of weird though, the people watching were kinda stiff. I mean they weren’t swaying to the music or anything. They just sat down there watching, listening! Hmm, I think The Company was able to loosen up the public more than Freestyle? Or could it be coz when it’s Christmas, everyone seems nicer, but during Valentine’s….some are bitter? Hahahaha. Anyway, I still enjoyed the concert! It just hit me that most of their songs that I like are the sad ones: Before I Let You Go, Bakit Ngayon Ka lang. I also like So Slow. The songs actually reminded me of someone…heheheh. After all, the first concent I went to was Freestyle’s Valentine’s Conert at the Araneta Colisem in 2001.


FEB 18: Overnight Team Building Activity

This was absolutely fun!!! I bought a 2 piece swimsuit and board shorts for this event! The actual team building activity was dinner at Gerry’s Grill in Glorietta then afterwards, around 23 of us went to May Lani’s place at Cainta. I think they owned the clubhouse! I spent around 70% of the time soaking in the pool, walking and wading around…coz I don’t know how to swim! Richard tried to teach me how to float but I couldn’t coordinate my movements to do it right, clumsy ol’ me! They also had a karaoke machine there so we crooned our hearts out but it was more like shouted our lungs out coz the neighbors called up around three or four times to ask us to tone down a bit, hahahahah!





FEB 22: Dinner @ the Tavern

In case I didn’t write about our office Christmas Party, there was a kind of a Pera or Bayong game there and I won a dinner date for 2 at Tavern on the Square in Greenbelt! I took Richard with me there, he’s my closest friend at work, after all J It was Nyoy Volante and the Mannos playing that night and Richard bought 3 of Nyoy’s CDs to have them signed. We got there a bit early so we decided to have dinner before the band arrived. The budget given to us was P1500 and here’s what we ordered:
Gindara Teriyaki with buttered veggies& rice and Mango Barbecue Chicken with buttered veggies & rice for our main course, two glasses of Cranberry juice to wash it down, Chocolate Chip Cheesecake for dessert, then Calamares for pica-pica while the band was playing and Mineral water and Iced tea! I went home really full!

Nyoy Volante and the Mannos

At the Tavern with Richard


I like the music the band played. Of course, there were signature Nyoy Volante songs but most of the other songs were requests from the audience. There was even this Japanese guy who jammed with them at the drums. We only stayed for the first set coz it was a work day the next day. When the band took a break, I went up to Nyoy and asked him to sign Richard’s CDs. Use my charms daw, sabi niya, haha. The thing is, I didn’t tell Nyoy that the CD’s weren’t mine, so when he came back from the dressing room to change his shirt, he gave me back the CDs with his short message and signature on the CD jackets…”Thanks for the support!, Love, Nyoy” “God Bless, Love, Nyoy” Hahahahahaha! It might as well have been written: To Richard, Love Nyoy! Hahahaaha! I am writing this incident down for posterity!


FEB 26: Perm Wave

I got my perm wave at Bench Fix for P1250! I think the procedure took about 3 hours, here are shots of the before, during, and the after. It’s good that Richard was there to take pictures of my Medusa look.

BEFORE

DURING

AFTER

Oh and why was I not surprised that the stylist recommended maintenance products and even an extra hot oil treatment to me? I didn’t fall for the hot oil but gave in to the products. I know after all that my hair needs extra maintenance after a perm

PhP2100 worth of hair goop!

Here’s what I bought (from left to right): L’Oreal Perm Energy Shampoo (smells like Avocado with a hint of Lemon), Kerastase Masquintense (smells nice and creamy), and the most expensive of all—even more expensive than the perm wave procedure itself—Kerastase Oleo Relax No Rinse Anti-Frizz Hair Gloss @ 1290!


MAR 6: Baby Shower

My sister-in-law, wife of my second brother had a baby shower! It’s my first time to go to one! We didn’t do anything much but eat and take pictures and I really like the souvenir, heheh, that’s why im writing about this event!

Baby Minnie trying to be a Bunny!

MAR 8: Women’s Day Cooking Demo

I never knew there was a Women’s Day or Women’s Month until this year! Is this a newly appointed celebration or something? Or was I simply hiding in my shell for the past how many years? Anyway, I signed up Richard and me for the cooking demo, I even made sure that guys could come since well, it’s Women’s Day, hehehehe. The demo was at Powerbooks Greenbelt again, but this time, the place was jam-packed. We ended up standing while watching the demo. This time’s class was a lot more professional, educational and entertaining compared to the last one I attended--probably because it’s The Maya Kitchen who did the demonstration.

The theme was more on the healthy side so the recipes were Fresh Fruit Plate with Cottage Cheese, Tofu Dip, Pork and Lettuce Rolls and Low Fat Brownies. They used pureed prunes as substitute for butter in the brownies and well for a low-fat dessert, it came out pretty tasty--sweet fruitish tasting brownies! Ah and the reason why I said that this demo was more organized because they prepared ready made small servings of all the stuff they demonstrated for the audience to taste! What made me chuckle was after putting the brownies in the oven, they took another one out that was all done—just like those cooking shows on TV! :p


MAR 10: EGA SAI

Ega Sai 2005, that’s the free Japanese Filmfest that’s held every year in celebration of the Philippines-Japan Festival. Again, it’s the first time that I’ve learned about this. I chanced upon an article about Kurosawa, a well-known Japanese director , whose films are featured in this year’s filmfest and I remembered that Richard likes watching foreign films so I mentioned this to him. It turns out that Kurosawa is really really famous and Nands, my office cubemate even said that Kurosawa is like the Lino Broka of Japan! It’s just too bad that it was already the last week of the filmfest and on a weekday, so there was only one film that could fit both our schedules.

Here’s some stuff about Kurosawa..

Akira Kurosawa (1910-1998) was the first Japanese director “discovered” abroad.
He achieved worldwide prominence when Rashomon (1950) won the grand price at the1951 Venice International Film Festival, thereby opening the way for the
appreciation of the Japanese cinema beyond the border of Japan.
Because he was quickly accepted in foreign countries, the Japanese often considered
Kurosawa as the “least Japanese” director. No matter how problematic this
assertion is, Kurosawa’s works represent a break in the tradition of the
Japanese film This break, however, does not discredit him as one of the greatest
filmmakers in the history of Japanese cinema. As Kurosawa himself said, “If a
work can’t have meaning to Japanese audiences, I , as a Japanese artist, am
simply not interested.”

EGA SAI 2005 AKIRA KUROSAWA

We ended up watching Stray Dog (Norainu) by Akira Kurosawa at the Equitable Tower in Makati. It’s about this police officer who rides a really, really jam packed bus in the middle of a scorching hot summer day and loses his gun in the process. The whole film is about his effort to try to get back his gun, but before he gets it back, a number of people get killed with his gun and this makes him extremely guilt-striken. He has to work with a senior officer (who has a semblance to our current driver, hehe) to hunt down the killer. Oh and I noticed that during the latter part of the movie, it was raining extremely hard…maybe the weather is a mood-setter for the scenes. A lot of parts in the film also made me laugh or chuckle but I’m not really sure if this was the intention of the director, hehehehe. I would’ve wanted to watch Seven Samurais and Rashomon, two of the more popular films of the director, but there’s always next year, anyway :)


MAR 18: PHONE GETS STOLEN

BOOHOOO! See the previous post for this. It’s back to my trusty ol’ Nokia 8250 again.

There, 2 months in a flash, all done!

SHAME ON ME

Before the updates on everything...I just want to say that I feel ashamed of myself...

I lost my cellphone! No, it’s not my 4-year-old Nokia 8250; it’s the phone that my brother handed down to me since he got a new phone.—a Nokia 6610. It’s been barely a month that the phone was with me and I lost it already!! I feel so irresponsible!!

And I used to think that I’m not the type of person who would lose a cellphone. I thought I was responsible enough, careful enough...it turns out that my 8250 was simply not within "stealable" value.

I feel that my family is disappointed at me, most especially my brother and his wife. Do you know the story of that 6610? My sister-in-law won that phone from Globe. She joined those text contests that Globe just sends you out of the blue, and she was picked! I think that phone is around 2-3 years old already, and I just lost it, haayyyy, how depressing!!

I wonder if they still think that I’m a spoiled, irresponsible kid. Argh, I just sooo hate this feeling!!! I can’t seem to think of any way to make up for what I’ve done huhuhuh, I’m soo sad. It doesn’t really matter what I lost, but that I lost something. I might not have had my previous cellphones stolen before but I lost a bracelet before and broken a necklace. Oh and I lost my wallet last year, too, around this time of year. My boyfriend at that time gave me those valuables...how sad!

I just feel so stupid, so careless, and so useless. ..

I just broke a promise recently, then I lost the cellphone, and I feel that something’s wrong with how I do things and how I react to situations. My life is messed up, again.

I wish I could do something right.

Welcome to My Life

Sunday Boredom
Supposedly, I should look forward to Sundays because it’s what I can really call a ‘rest day’ since I’m just stuck at home after attending mass in the morning. (Sunday is the driver’s day off) But somehow, my body has grown accustomed to the busyness of the weekday, so I always end up getting bored on Sundays. It’s not like I don’t have anything to do…it’s just that I feel…bored and lonely?--a feeling close to that but not quite.

Anyway, I’m even lucky today (January 23, 2005) that I got to take home one of the office laptops—even though it’s painstakingly sloooowwww….slower than my dear old PC that my office friends, who have tried to make it work, keep on joking about.

Busted PC
Oh, that’s one of the reasons why I haven’t been able to blog for such a long time! Aside from being busy with work and chatting at work (hehehe), my PC went berserk after I tried installing a new soundcard into it. The sound card was a Christmas present actually since I’ve been wanting to get a new one so I could at least watch VCDs. Somehow, the bugs suddenly appeared after I tinkered with the insides of my PC. There was a time that the modem couldn’t be detected, then the PC wouldn’t boot. So I asked my officemates to fix it…those Computer Engineering graduates who know where each of the intestine-like cables should go and all that stuff. Anyway, the lucky friend who got the job is Aldrich. He even installed a DVD-ROM into my PC! He’s letting me use it until he upgrades his PC this coming August, isn’t that soo nice?! =) Unfortunately, my PC couldn’t handle the DVD software, just goes to show how outdated it is…I was ready to pick it up last Saturday when it suddenly won’t boot up again! Gosh!

So now, another friend, Pao, has it. My PC is now in Alabang…wow, it has gone to places I haven’t been before, how cool. He’s still having trouble with it from the last I heard, hopefully, my computer will cooperate so it can come back home to me…I do miss it, even if it’s really slow. I don’t know why they can’t boot it up, I just usually give it a smack on the right side and it boots up instantly…it must know who it’s owner is! Hehehe.

Badminton
Yes, I do have a ‘sport’ now, if you can call what I actually do a sport. Yesterday was just the 2nd time that I played badminton and hey, it’s fun! I usually laugh at myself the whole time and entertain the people I play with in the process. Last Sunday, my whole body was aching, especially my butt and my right forearm—I had a hard time brushing my teeth!. While enduring the pain in my butt, I just consoled myself with the thought that I will eventually have a shapelier butt because of the concentrated aching that I feel in my glutes, I hope that’s true!

I just have to mention my very nice officemates who have been very patient with teaching me the basics of the sport. There’s Don, a Team Lead, who kept reminding me not to hit the shuttlecock while it’s overhead--it has to be in front of me. Then there’s Richard, my closest friend at work, who taught me basics like where and how to stand in position, how to hit lightly, how to hold the racket, and he even lent me his racket when we played yesterday. Our Senior Team Lead, Pearlynne, taught me how to be a scorekeeper. Gia, a fellow Atenean in Accenture, has been teaching me how to smash. I can’t seem to get it right just yet. I hope that I’ll be able to play again this coming week so I can practice on my weak points.

Movie Buffs
The best thing I like about my officemates is that they’re movie buffs like moi! I can be sure that I wouldn’t miss the latest flicks since there would always be someone who’d want to watch one movie or another. The recent movies that I’ve watched are Kung Fu Hustle (twice!), Ocean’s 12, Blade Trinity and White Noise, being the latest.

My chest ached from watching White Noise, it’s really tiring to watch those horror-suspense type of movies, argh! I actually tried to watch a horror movie alone—Sigaw, during the Metro Manila Film Festival weeks and hey, I survived! Of course, not without a pillow and my hand over my face—so I could peek through the spaces between my fingers during the scary parts!

Next on my movie list is A Very Long Engagement and The Aviator coz I seem to have this recent penchant for oldie looking movies. Well, having Leo de Caprio in The Aviator makes the decision making a lot easier, too!

Media Exposure
Oh, before I forget! The article that I wrote for my Feature Writing class during fourth year college was featured in the Sunday Inquirer Magazine last Sunday! Yey! It’s entitled, The Happiest Loser of All. The story is about this guy who lost around 200lbs and is now a bodybuilder! Extremes, noh? The best part is that Jerome, the guy in my article, was featured in Balitang K, just a while ago! He told me that one of the researchers of Balitang K came across the article I wrote and decided to interview him. Isn’t that cool?! It gives me this happy feeling that I was able to help someone. =)

Hmmm….there’s still a lot more that has been happening in my life but I guess these updates will do for now, hehehe. Ciao! Let’s hope that my PC will get well soon so I can blog more often in the coming months!

Grabe, sobrang tagal ko na palang hindi nagpopost!!!

Well, here i am now! I'm on Primary Support this week, starting 5pm a while ago until 5pm next Friday. So i brought home the Support Laptop and now i can connect to the net at a relatively faster rate, listen to music and watch DVDs!!! Yeah! My PC's sound card is broken so there's nothing really interesting to do with it except maybe edit pics in Photoshop.

Anyways, hmmm so many things have happened already! When was my last post? Was it a month ago?

Regarding my previous post, i was fortunately able to drop hints successfully to a friend so i was able to go to the Chocolate Nights Weekend Buffet! That was last Nov 27, Saturday. The chocolate dishes or whatever you call them werent' all that much coz i was expecting like really long table fulls just like in typical buffets. But then, i thought, just how much chocolate desserts can people take right? So there were three medium sized tables filled with mouthwatering chocolate treats for the chocoholics to savor.

What my friend and I loved best was the Chocolate Soup! Hmm, i can't find a picture sa internet eh! Hhehehe, anyway, even though Chocolate Nights is a buffet, it's not really a place for pigging out like those Eat-all-you-cans. First, because of the hotel ambiance that somehow inhibits you from stuffing yourself like there's no tomorrow. Second, because it's dessert! It's better if savored slowly and over some good conversation. Oh, did i mention that there was a string quartet playing all the while during the buffet? Hehehe, kinda romantic, so it's good for those who wanna make it a dating event.

Word of advice, there is such a thing as 'chocolate high'! Hehehe, basta masarap!!! Catch it if you still can =)

Regarding the books that i want to read, i finished reading Claiming of Beauty by Anne Rice and word of warning again, it's not for the faint hearted!! Tolerance for S&M is a must!!! Anyway, i recently bought Neil Gaiman's Smoke and Mirrors. I haven't read it yet coz i want to have it covered with plastic first before i start reading, heheh. OC, noh?

I also bought a Chocolate cook/recipe book! I can't express how happy i am for finally being able to do such a 'simple' thing! Coz before, all i did was go inside the bookstore, leaf through the dessert recipe books, drool at the pictures, check out if the recipes are do-able by moi and then close the book and check out the price at the back. I'd automatically put back the book in the shelf, stare at it for a moment and sigh. This just went on for years, that is, until last Saturday.

I'm just soo happy that i went to the bookshop with a friend who's a bibliophile. I think my friend saw the desire in me and realized that i just needed some prodding to buy it. Hehehe, well, it's true. I just needed some encouragement and there, i bought it! Pricey but i feel satisfied and i feel that it's really really worth it! =) La lang, mababaw noh? Pero it makes me happy, hehehe.

Regarding the holidays...we had our office Kris Kringle already and i just want to say that there's nothing like simple and goofy things to brighten up one's day, hehehe. The best part is when you exchange hunches of who's who and afterwards discuss how the 'mommys' and 'daddys' were discovered and the funny stories behind the gifts.

For the record. KK Version 1: 'something funny' was the general understanding of the riddle that 'parents' were supposed to interpret and based their gifts from. I got a sqeaky plastic alligator and a fart whistle! Wehehehe. I gave my 'baby' smoker a painstakingly wrapped Strawberry flavored DJ Mix pack of cigs, hehehe, oh my 'baby's' a guy, btw so i did that on purpose hehehe.

KK Version 2: 'something that stimulates the mind' (general interpretation again) I got 2 word quest booklets, brain twister--making designs out of 4 plastic tiles, and a mini magnetic checkers gameboard! Nice, nice, i reallly liked the wordquest booklets coz that's what i usually did in the airport before when i was bored! Meanwhile, i gave my 'baby' a hexagonal Justice League puzzle which he now uses as a mousepad! Weird, but he said he liked it! That's what matters, anyway, hehe.

KK Version 3: 'something related to heroes / good & evil' (general interpretation, i opted for the latter one when i chose my baby's gift) I got a portable Kim Possible fan! Yey, i can use it during those hot summer months or kung brownout sa bahay, hehehe =p I gave my baby another effortfully wrapped gift, a butane based lighter with skull design that has these funny disco blue and red lights when you flip the top for a light. I don't really know him that well so that's all i could really give him hehehe. Am i bad parent? Hehehe.

Grand KK: Exchanging of gifts will be on Dec 17, the project Christmas party at Pier One, Fort Bonifacio! Limit is P500 so i had 3 things in my wishlist that my 'parent' can choose from.
1) Love Spell lotion by Victoria's Secret Garden, 2) Sound Card for my PC at home 3) R.U.L.E. CD, Ja Rule's new album!! Diverse ba masydo? Hirap hulaan kung hindi ako talaga kilala nung tao, hehe. Sana naman mag-grant kahit isa sa mga wishes ko =)

Christmas with my College buddies...Overnight at Makati Shangri-la on Dec 18-19th! Ain't that cool?? I'm so excited! Girlie bonding sessions na naman ito for sure! Hehehe, lots of chikahan, losta eating and lotsa shopping!

Christmas season is the best! Will post more soon, maybe after Christmas na, heheheh =p

Craving for Chocolate Nights

I'm desperate...

I really wanna go to the Chocolate Nights Weekend Buffet at The Peninsula!!!! It has been extended until Dec. 18! Waaah!

It's definitely pricey for a non-chocolate addict, 495++ for adults and 295++ for kids. I need to find someone who's really serious about chocolates, who's a connoiseur even, or who's simply game to indulge in chocolate treats. Yung hindi KJ, sigh. I wonder who?

Just to prove how desperate i am, if someone is really game enough but is a bit hesistant to go because of the price, i'm willing to treat that person! But only one, hehehe. Giving away 1000 is too much i think. P500 for companionship? Kinda pathetic, kinda desperate, but hey, i just want someone to go with me and eat chocolate!
See? I'm getting corny from desperation.

Or could it be that i'm barking on the wrong tree? Maybe i should just go on my own? Although i've never gone to a buffet alone in my whole life! Hmmmmmm....i need some insights here. What should i do?

That place would probably be packed with families or couples and then i'd be alone?! I could always view it as a way to meet someone, but that's not my purpose! I'm kinda wary of some stranger suddenly coming up to me and wanting to indulge in chocolates with me (read: chocolate is an aphrodisiac). I wouldn't want to be with someone i dont' really trust while i'm indulging in something that might make my spirits really high...i might get carried away.

Dilemman, dilemma. Sigh.

Random Thoughts
Nothing really significant to say, but i just feel like blogging, whatever comes to mind...

Have i written down that i'm planning to have my hair curled? Big sexy curls and just for a day to see if it suits me. It's kinda ironic coz when i finally achieve a somewhat enviable straight hair, i suddenly get bored with it and want to try a different 'do. Anyway, my hair will of course grow back to being straight if ever i decide to get a perm.

My television is tuned to FashionTV right now and i'm watching models again--perfect hair, perfect body, perfect face, perfect everything. How come their boobs look so firm even without a bra? Is that some kind of trick?

Anyway, i realized just recently that i need not be a model with perfect everything to feel beautiful and sexy (duhhh!) I guess i should have realized this a long time ago but hey, i just did recently. It's nice to feel appreciated and accepted for who i am right now. No conditions,no pressures, just all natural me. Ain't that cool?

I am the girl with a lot of personal issues. Most of my friends dont' know this, only very very very select people know what my issues are. This is because I dont' have much friends whom i had serious heart-to-heart talks with yet. I dunno, sometimes i feel that maybe they're not ready yet to encounter the problematic me. I always project this cheerful and carefree disposition when i'm with my friends. That's why they think that my life's all sunny and fun. Well, i try to make it like that but of course there's stil so much bitterness and 'issues' to deal with each day. I'm just glad that those who know my issues weren't freaked out and are still here for me through it all.

I just finished reading an intense book last night: Eleven Minutes by Paolo Coelho. 'Intense' not just because it deals with the life and activites of a prostitute but because it's about her search for love and a 'sacred' kind of love making. I loved the way the story was told--oh it's based on a true story, by the way--first person and with a diary even. I love books like that coz i like knowing what the character thinks, feels, and dreams. I'm able to relate more, especially on the character's diary entries. Sometimes i just get shocked to see that i have a very similar entry/thought as her. What a coincidence!

The next book i want to read is Claim of Beauty. My friend says it's a different perspective to the Snow White fairy tale. I think Dan Brown mentioned something about it in his Da Vinci Code---the ancient practice of reverence for women that was abolished by the Church is still discreetly being passed on through fairy tales (think of the protagonists, all women right?), songs, etc.

Have i also mentioned that i'm a frustrated singer? When i'm bored and need to destress, i just turn to the karaoke channel on Destiny cable. They usually feature songs of the 80s or earlier and it just excites me, hahahaha! I find songs during those times easier and more soulful to sing than the new ones now. Could it be the lyrics or the classical tunes? Anyway, i just croon my heart out without caring if my parents or the neighbors hear me. Hey, i do have a decent singing voice, albeit in alto.

I think it's obvious by now that i am lonely when i'm in my room and have no one to talk to. Why would i write my thoughts as if i were talking to someone or to an audience? It really beats talking to myself in front of the mirror, in my thoughts or out loud. Whoever is reading this now probably thinks i'm a really weird person. Well, so i am, that's just me!

GIRLIE BONDING SESSIONS!

Life has changed a lot for me for the past few weeks...i've been doing so much stuff that i've never done or experienced before and it seems that there are still seamless possiblites out there in the world for me to try and experience! (parang ibong nakawala sa hawla eh! hehehe)

October 16: First day of Mel's sembreak from UP Law.
I went to Mel's house and everyone was so surprised that i could come and chill out with them, hehehe. After exchanging updates on each other's life, Mel, Nikki and I made a stop at Book Sale to kill some time before Ann and Rom arrived at Cibo for dinner. I ended up buying two s dessert recipe books for 50 pesos each and this month's edition of T3 Gadgets magazine for 120. I really love Maike Ever's bathing suit in the cover! Someday, i will get to wear one like that! ha! hehehe =p

"Bluetooth Fairy, I wish for your two-piece halter bikini!"

Anyway, so the three of us went ahead to Cibo and ordered food, i ordered pasta but vaguely remember what was with it! It wasn't delicious or outstanding enought to be remembered, hehehe. I also shared creamy squash soup with Mel and 2 desserts that i ended up bringing home the leftovers of. What i liked most in what we ate was the appetizer, spinacci -- a creamy spinach dip with refillable bread for P20. My friends from modeling were the ones who introduced this dish to me before and somehow i've associated Cibo with it. Our bill was exceptionally high, and mine was the highest! I shelled out P500 for dinner! Gosh! Oh well, at least we had fun, and here's our pictures to prove it =)

Clockwise from left: Nikki, Rom, Me, Mel and Ann

From Left to Right: Rom, Me and Nikki

October 23: Tres Marias' Quiapo Adventure!
Too bad we didn't bring any technology to capture our silly moments for fear of being robbed, hehehe. All three of us didn't bring cellphones or even our wallets! I just brought a lola looking coin purse that made my bills look like they came from the wet market! DVD-hunting has never been this fun for me and probably Nikki too since it's also her first time to go to Quiapo. Mel, on the other hand, is already a veteran and we kept teasing her about her kumares and kumpares who were the DVD vendors. But hey, even for newbies, Nikki and I, made, uhmm, 'instant friends' with some vendors, hehehe. Nikki encountered this weird vendor who kept making comments and maybe jokes about something that we really couldn't understand, so we just smiled and nodded while wating for Nikki's The Simpsons to be tested for quality. My encounter was kinda different but fruitful coz i got a free DVD, it's just worth P35 but hey, i still got it for free!. Oh, i chose Ella Enchancted for that freebie, not really something i'm dying to get, but one of the best from the choices available.

Our DVD hunting started at about 1130am and continued on until about 3pm in the afternoon, that's because finally, Mel's money ran out! =) We had lunch of course--at Chowking and merienda afterwards at a Chowking branch again near Me'ls house already. Hmmm,shouldn't we be getting discounts for being such loyal customers? =p Anyway, we rode an FX from Quiapo and got dropped at Edsa Central or somewhere near that and took a tricylce back to Mel's place. I was really suprised that the FX ride only cost us P20 each since an FX or 'shuttle' from Dela Costa to Landmark is already P10! Tsk, tsk, tsk, Makati naman talaga oh!

Oct 28: Nikki's blowout for her birthday!
We had dinner at Big Buddha in Greenbelt 3 but i got there an hour late! MFP Issue Tracking got me late because i couldn't access the server to the Remedy database from my PC! (workplace lingo, just ranting!) How very odd!

Clokcwise from left: Ann, Me, Niki, Rom and Mel

From left to right: Cliff, Imo, Me and Ann

Anyway, after dinner we scouted for coffee places but ended up at the bald man's shop, Max Brenner's!!!! It was like a chocolate dream come true for me! We ordered Suckao, Mud Max and Crunhy Chocolate Cheesecake. We had to request for six shot glasses so we could all taste the Suckao better--sucking the milk chocolate heated under a burner from the same metal straw seemed so "pot session-ish."

The verdict. Suckao was nothing extraordinary, i think it's the process of making your own chocolate drink that adds excitement to it. Mud Max is like a chocolate cake that came with a very thick and heavy chocolate syrup in a mini florence flask and Haagen Daaz strawberry ice cream, walnuts and assorted fruits as well. I really liked it because it wasn't too sweet and the chocolate was more on the rick and dark side. My friends liked Crunchy Chocolate Cheesecake better though. It had Oreo cookie crumbs as the cheesecake buttom, came white chocolate syrup, walnuts and assorted fruits too placed in small glass bowls so you could decide how much to put on the cheesecake. The experience was well worth it, a bit on the pricey side but i wouldn't mind going back again to try the other sinful chocolate stuff that the bar has to offer.

October 30: Mel's sister's 8th birthday
Nikki and I had perfect attendance again, as usual. We ate, exchanged morbid death stories, talked about supernatural stuff, and wrote down our plans of places to go to ...here's some of them!
rummage in an Ukay-Ukay
visit museums
visit Intramuros
indluge ourselves in a spa
go book hunting
take a trp to Tagaytay
fly to HK/Korea/Thailand
gimmik at Baywalk
volunteer in a charity
eat and shop in Chinatown
go swimming at Mel's house or at the beach
experience food in UP
girls' drinking night at home
do a movie marathon
bargain shopping at Tutuban
Isn't it so fun to be a single girl? Hehehehe.

Thoughts Past Midnight....

I never thought singlehood could feel this good! I used to think that i couldn't live without a boyfriend, that my world would fall apart and i'd lose meaning and purpose in life! What a misguided girl i was!!!

I've already realized and learned so much in just a few weeks since the 'big breakup' and i know there's still so much more that i will discover as the days go by.

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I'm finally and gradually learning to be independent, to stand on my own two feet and not keep on relying on other people (read: boyfriend and parents) to "shelter" me from the harsh realities of the world and of urban living, in particular.

In my two weeks of singlehood, I've tried out the different modes of public transportation--some alone and some with friends. Jeep, FX, Taxi, Bus, Tricycle but i have yet to ride the MRT, hehehe. I should probably start learning how to drive already. There's no one stopping me now =) I'm willing to take the risk, because i know it's the only way to learn. Just like what people say about learning to ride a bicycle (which i never learned), you gotta experience falling and hurting yourself in order to learn.

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Finally, i have more time for myself and my friends. It's about time that i rebuild my grossly neglected relationship with my friends and find out who i really am--my own set of principles, beliefs, interests. Until i have established and lived those set of things that define who i am, i won't enter into another relationship yet. It's just not fair for me and for the other party.

I'm just really glad and thankful for my friends who have stuck with me even though i wasnt always there for them in the past...and also for my new friends who have been ever-supportive during the times that i felt so empty and depressed. I've never felt so lucky and blessed-- for having been given the chance to grow into a strong and mature individual. =)

I have 3 issues assigned to me right now and its nearing the end of my shift...almost 9pm already....I'm also listening to Yahoo LauchCast, genre: Love Songs--and they're making me cry! huhuhuhu!

I just realized that i'm not the type of person who likes taking risks. Somehow i've paved the path of my future with security. I'm not passionate in the sense that i don't follow what i really want to do. I tell myself that i'm just realistic, but now i'm having problems with this trait of mine.

In terms of career choices, i went for security by choosing Accenture over broadcasting or other communication firms. In terms of love, i really feel secure with my relationship right now. Imagine, 5 year, 5 months +, how much more security can you ask for diba ?

Eh , what if you suddenly realize that there's more to life than security diba ? What if you realize that you've been missing a lot? What if you realize that there's something better out there, but the catch is, that "something better" is not something certain. It's not really secure. You have to risk a lot of things just to see if that "something better" will work for you.

Worth it or not?

Live in boring security and "learn" to be happy with your situation or take the risk of losing everything but with the knowledge that you lived life to the fullest and you didn't die without trying?

Sigh. Life is so complicated. So full of choices that would really turn your world upside down.

What should i do?!

I haven't blogged for quite sometime now...lots of things have happened but i don't want to write them all down, hehehe. Here's selective blogging for you...

Movies watched:

Dodgeball 9/18/04: Funny in a corny, pathetic and gross kind of way. More of a guy barkada movie, hehehe.

The Notebook 9/10/04: Loved it so much! At first,i was afraid that it was the heavy drama type but i was wrong. It's a story about love, life and second chances. Basta maganda, i don't want to spoil this one!


Splurge-o-Rama: Things bought...

Lots! I went shopping at Galleria today for myself! Hehehe.

The basic regimen every woman should have...and the brands i chose.

Cleanser: Dove Facial Foam, 100 ml (1/4 Moisturizing Cream, Non-soap formula)
Toner: Neutrogena Pore Refining Toner, 200 ml (alcohol-free, Non-comedogenic, AHA & BHA toner--whatever that is! hehehe)
Moisturizer: L'oreal Dermo-Expertise Revitalift with SPF 18, 50 ml (Anti-wrinkle + firming cream, anti-ageing action)
Day Eye Gel: L'oreal Dermo-Expertise Hydrafresh Eye, 15 ml (Anti-dark circles eye cream gel, Pure Mineral SPA Water, Opthalmologically tested)
Night Eye Gel: The Body Shop Vitamin C Eye Reviver, 15 ml (for all skin types, brightens and smooths)
Night Cream: The Body Shop Vitamin C Intensive Night Treatment, 30 ml (with 10% pure antioxidant vitamin C to smooth and condition)

Whoa! If i don't end up with the skin of a baby....hehehehe

The splurge isn't over yet. I also bought EarClip Headphones--which are not technically headphones since they dont' have that arc thing for the head that ruins your hair do. It's not the standard earphones that you stuff inside the opening of your ear either since it's earpiece is similar to that of the headphones. Hmmm, what should i call it then? EarClipPhones? Philips simply calls it EARGEAR.

Add Freeman BareFoot Softening Foot Lotion to my shopping cart. It has soothing iced teaberry and mint that supposedly helps soothe and moisturize dry, flaky legs, feet, cuticles, heels and toes! Very specific, noh? Hahahaha.

Another one for my feet is Rusty Lopez shoes, umm, semi-stiletto sandals? Black with Butterfly design in front, very pretty coz i like butterflies! hehehe =P

Oh and i finally bought some contoured foam for applying foundation and other make-up stuff. That's about it! I got freebies from Watsons and Bodyshop for purchasing a lot of stuff--Pink bath scrubbing thing with a rabbit and Libresse napkin holder with a free sample, of course hehe.

After acquring all those things, am i happy? Hmmmmm, not really. I just feel like i've done what i was supposed to do a long time ago.

To be continued...