What's up? How's it going?

January 2025 became a positive turning point. I was still on edge when we went back to the Philippines for Chinese New Year. I didn't want to meet my friends, I didn't want to meet anyone else but my family. After that visit, I was relatively better. 

There were minor incidents here and there but nothing major. I still needed breaks but I was okay enough not to need a talk with the psychiatrist. 

May 2025 I was feeling homesick but a series of family visits happened which made me happy, hopeful, and have something to look forward to. 

My brother visited and little did I know that it would be the last time I'd see him conscious 😓.

We went to Japan and Kobe was just so awesome. I enjoyed Universal Studios in Osaka too.

After that was a series of events that just came rushing in one after the other like a tidal wave that wouldn't stop. 

July: My husband gets a 2 month notice of termination

Aug: My brother suddenly passes away

Sep: My husband loses his job

Sep: I am told that I will lose my job as wel come end of March

WHAT A CRAZY FEW MONTHS! 

Why did all these happen? IDK.

So much hammering and pruning. 

Trust in the Lord. There's nothing else to do. 

2024 Has Been Crazy

Doing a 2024 recap before the year ends (without an entry)

Too many transitions happened this year which caused me to breakdown? snap? whatever you call it. It just affected me mentally and emotionally. 

Feb 2024

- Resigned from my very first official employment in Singapore

- Moved out of the first condo we ever lived in since coming to Singapore

March 2024

- Watched Taylor Swift in Concert (just worth mentioning)

- Moved in to next condo block which thankfully looks the same as our previous condo

April 2024

- Started work at my daughter's school handling events and spaces and parent group support

June 2024

- a new role got added to me due to a surprise resignation

- trip to US, including going on a Disney Cruise! (California, Florida, Bahamas)

Sept 2024

Major *public*  breakdown happens: uncontrollable crying for 30 mins. 

Oct 2024

Another incident happens but at home. I see a psychologist for the first time

Nov 2024

- Impromptu trip to Korea to try to prevent another incident

- No major incident but on a negative spiral

- First evet mammogram, it sucks. Someone please invent a better way!

Dec 2024

- I joined a bible study and it is helping.

- I will do grief work with my psychologist

Hopefully, only positive epiphanies until the new year!!

October

Today. I'm just happy about finally having a book case. But I don't want to keep wanting things and feel unsatisfied after I've gotten them. Nothing is eternal.

Next month. Feels hectic. Even the last half of this month...so help me God.

I just watched Bones... how can a mother ever not want her child and call other gang members her family. #alamna It happens and when it does, it just breaks your heart. Poor kid. I know there's a lot out there and that's were all the crime and violence come from. Tsk, poor kid.

Time to sleep, lots of work to do tomorrow.

Let's see how everything falls into place.

Home on a Monday

Home on a Monday for my 'monthly' leave to offset the overtime hours I rendered for the past week. Last night, I had a plan for today of going to the post office, doing the laundy, cleaning the toilets and fixing up the second room

At 5pm today, I've just accomplished going to the post office. Haha.

Watching movies on the laptop and surfing the net seemed more interesting.

While surfing, I stumbled upon some stuff that would supposedly improve my health and physical well-being...I would need a blender, though, to carry it out. Read: http://www.thesuperfoodgrocer.com/

I've been mulling over other purchases as well: a bookcase and an electric oven.

The bookcase shopping did not push through this weekend coz of the code yellow rains which prompted my previously Cainta-based husband to just want to stay at home. I think people who live in Marikina and Rizal have some trauma left in them from the Ondoy tragedy of 2009.

On the other hand, electric oven seems such a big purchase and to convince myself to wait a little longer, I've decided to 'reward' myself with the oven only until I've reached a desired weight. I'm still deciding which weight to aim for.. the ideal, non-overweight, short of impossible one or the 30 lbs less more realistic but still hard one?

I'll probably go with the more realistic one. The greatest possible irony would be that by the time I reach my goal weight, I'd be living so 'healthily' and would not want an electric oven to bake chocolate goodies with anymore! There's always savory stuff like baked fish...we'll see.

So.. I should go do the laundry now. Ciao!

Emergency Numbers

I read so many self-help books before but retained nothing for actual use in my life. I realized that there is only one book or instruction manual that is really applicable for living one's life.. and that is the Bible.

Someone posted this in facebook and i just 'called' number 11 and 12.
11. When you grow bitter and critical, 12. For how to get along with other men.

I am bothered by my reaction to people for the past days -- getting annoyed easily, feeling self-righteous and indignant. I'm happy though that I still have enough sensitivity to realize that something's amiss.. too much complaining, too much analyzing who should really be responsible or how something should be done instead.

I'm happy to have read 1 Corinthians 13. It's the LOVE verse. People usually think it's only for lovers, but reading the NCV (New Contemporary Version) of the Bible pinpointed that it's applicable for everyone. I may have so much faith, so much gifts and talents, and so much knowledge, but I gain nothing if I do not have LOVE.

Romans 12, on the other hand, is about treating your enemies well. Show them kindness even if they are mean, love them even if they hate you.. this appreantly is like pouring burning coal over their heads.

I need to exude more love at work and with my family, especialy with my dad or whoever tries to give me something to do. I wish I could be as loving as my mom. When trouble befalls me, I want to be able to give love and not burden other people with my stress and frustration. Because I cannot speak or express myself well verbally, I hope God gives me the talent to express good things through my actions and my facial expressions.

May I also learn to pray for others and not just for myself.

Seek First the Kingdom

The past topics with Brother JR leading the career group meetings have been very helpful to everyone. I am actually delighted that Edward has found it helpful, too. We enjoyed the peer-to-peer sharing back in the days when it was still Gordon and other younger ones leading the group but I guess, ultimately, what we all need is guidance. The Lord guides us and he assigns people to help guide other people through their knowledge and life experiences.

The sessions have ultimately been about getting down to the core and asking: what is my purpose in life? Not just work but LIFE - in this earth or universe. I thought this questioning was only for back when I was in highschool and college when there was the luxury to really ponder this question. I guess this question was posed back to us because this is the stage in our life when we don't have time to question anymore. We just do things and strive to move forward towards our self-designated path, but then if we are moving toward the wrong direction, then all our efforts are for nothing.

Everyone's overall life purpose is to SEEK FIST THE KINGDOM OF GOD. How we do that will be the ways our individuality will be displayed.

I am also impressed that our pastor can converse with different personalities and ages in the group. There are those who are just starting out at work and want to prove themselves, those who question everything just like philosophers, those who want to dissect everything into a step by step procedure and so many more!

We are all created differently but we come together because we are the children of one GOD. In seeking first His Kingdom, we must know our purpose, our priority and our role in life. Every reading touched my heart because I am guilty of being so busy pursuing things that, in reality, are already provided by GOD. It's like being a Martha than a Mary. Just last Sunday, I was the usher and I was busy observing people and trying to help out that I forgot to partake of the bread and wine. I told myself that I'll try to be a good leader, be early, initiate prayer, smile at people and remind them to smile but I forgot why I was doing all these. God is the most important and in my service, I neglected having the quiet moment to remember Him for all He's done.

Experiences like that make one grow and realize the challenges of balancing life, but I'm happy for that downfall because now I know it's not so easy to do things. Sometimes we just like to complain and criticize other people but haven't really asked ourselves if we can actually do better or even the same when we are placed in that similar situation.

Whoever said that everything he needed to learned he learned in a kindergarten is missing out on so much things life has to offer. In facing life, I know now that our guiding principle should always be to SEEK FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD because when we do, then EVERYTHING SHALL BE GIVEN UNTO US.

A Fluffy Dilemma

The reality of my getting married is dawning sooner at 99 days to go as of date. We have a place to live already but it has yet to be furnished. I look around my room and think about the things that I will bring.. my books sans Sweet Valleys and Love Stories, my clothes and shoes - only those that fit and I really wear, and my toys. Oh my stuffed toys! What to do with these toys that I sleep with and hug every night? They provide me the comfort of a soft hug when my heart is hurting or when my tummy is aching. I talk to them when I'm happy or sad or problematic because they are shaped like animals. I love animals! They are technically pillows that are shaped like animals! Society dictates, however, that these are toys and are for little girls or early twenty-somethings, most definitely not for a bride-to-be.

Do I have to change so much along with getting married? Aside from the legal fact that I have to change my surname, I also have additional domestic tasks and future birthing and child-rearing tasks. I guess this is the next level of adulthood. Looking back, I realize that it's so fun to be single and earning your own money but living at your parent's house. It's the best ever but I know it won't last forever.

This transition is eventual, this is probably why my married office mates act like they do. It's difficult to see everything from their perspective when I'm busy enjoying my single life. It's not that married life is not enjoyable, it just has a different type of enjoyment and fulfillment.

So it looks like I must take the leap. I was actually fortunate to be given the chance of a year or so to prepare for this huge life transition instead of rushing all that up in 100 days, but now it's 100 days to that day again and there's no turning back.

I'm still not resolved to leave my toys but I know it's the right thing to do. It's the path to maturity.

End of Project

Just found out today that I'm getting rolled off from my project of almost 4 years on Dec 29. I was shocked coz for some reason I thought i was untouchable but well budget cuts are tough and someone can do my share of the work.

I was shocked and a bit insecure but I'm glad that God prepared me for this event. The End of Project email was sent yesterday but I somehow did not receive it and went straight to the career group year end meeting last night. The testimony shared by Glenn apparently was not only applicable to Edward but to me too. I also liked what Bro JR and Kervin shared about expecting more challenges to come in our life. Although having a comfortable life is not bad, we also need the tough times to help us be stronger so that we can grow and mature.

Those words were really planted in my heart and mind so when I read the End of Project mail, there was already a  stronger me that cushioned the blow.

And also, it's not really a bad thing coz they were happy with my service and just had to remove some people. My manager also told me that I'm already lined up for another project (possibly with her) so that's one less thing to worry about.

Whatever is in store for me, I know that it's part of God's plan. If it's gonna be challenging, I know that He will help me through it. So help me God.

Birit Theory

Why do Pinoys like to sing in birit style? Why do Pinoys love to sing using the karaoke? I realized that its a coping mechanism. We are hard-working, persevering people who are resilient like the bamboo. Many challenges may come in our life but we still go on and do not commit suicide on something earth-shattering, rather we hold on and survive. Our outlet for this survival is the karaoke. We need to sing, to let it out, albeit in the words of other people. Singing in birit style drowns the sound of sadness that goes through the head, one that might make you crazy if you overthink. Singing provides an avenue for us to channel our despair and thereby lessening the mental stress that sad thoughts bring to our minds and bodies.

I just listened to Taylor Swift sing Long Live.

Lazy Sunday

Some realizations...

I should only assign homework to myself during the first 3 days of the week because I get lazy Thursday and Friday nights haha

I can learn how to cook via techonology! Today, I helped my mom make stir fried bihon (tsa bihon) and documented the steps by taking pictures :) Yey!

New York Blizzard

Due to the 20 inch snow brought about by the blizzard at New York...a baby died after being delivered in the lobby of a Brooklyn apartment building when paramedics took nine hours to reach the mother - Reuters

This makes me worry and think that I should learn about the natural methods of birthing just like how our ancestors did it - no technology, no nothing. Just midwives at home, hmmmm...

Where to Now?

I had a great weekend so far hanging out with Maddy - he bought a new laptop yey! Samsung R440 Silver! It's always fun to accompany someone in buying a new gadget. :) Also, I was finally able to do 2 things that I've been putting off for a long time

1) visit the Forever 21 store at Megamall. The store is huge! There's so much clothes but I particularly liked the designs at the Heritage section. I'll go back there when I'm in a shopping mood.

2) Redeem my free shoes from Charles and Keith! Good thing there's a branch at Megamall. I was not able to get a fashionable high heeled one, but instead, I bought a sturdy but shiny silver wedge that's soo comfortable. Proof of this is that I traded my Crocs for that new shoe once I got to Linden Suites for Ann's bridal shower. The soles of my feet were aching from walking in the same flat angle, albeit in Crocs.

While waiting for the uber-fun surprise bridal shower to start, Rom was asking me what I'd do next after MBA...

I actually do not know yet. I don't have a specific direction yet because MBA just broadened my horizon that I can try on different fields. This is obvious in my job search categories. Right now though, I'm considering the Management Trainee positions at top companies. I'll have to look into them more. I'm constrained by my high salary in IT! If I win the lotto, then I wouldn't have to worry about salary and simply do whtat I enjoy doing. That would be the best thing! Unfortunately, none of the numbers I played came out in the draw. Apparently, no one else's number combination won in tonight's draw. And so the hoping continues as millions of Filipinos contribute to the grand lotto 6-55 pot.. LOL

i wish i had known about this earlier

7 Money Tips for Twentysomethings

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David B. Armstrong, On Saturday 20 November 2010, 1:55 SGT

It's easy to look back, ask,"What if?" and second guess all the decisions I've made in the past 43 years. I have been fortunate to have no major regrets and a whole lot to be thankful for. However, there are some things I would have paid more attention to and done differently if I could go back and relive my early 20s.

Here's a list for all of you in your 20s, as well as for some parents to consider if you have children graduating from college soon:

1. Don't rack up credit card debt, and pay any debts off quickly. Seems simple and downright obvious, but taking on debt is easy to do. The transition from college to the working world can be expensive--new clothes, shoes, apartment, furniture, and other business-world expenses can make it easy to quickly pile on debt. Budget for these expenses, and if credit must be used to get going, have a plan in advance for paying it down.

2. Contribute to your 401(k). Just do it. Retirement contributions build up fast, often have an employer matching contribution, and are saved before taxes. Look at it as savings with an instant profit.

[See 6 Strategies for Funding Your 401(k)]

3. Start a savings plan early. The best time to start a savings plan is before you are used to having extra money in the first place. A good rule of thumb: Use 50 percent of your after-tax paycheck (excluding 401(k) contributions, of course) to pay for the non-negotiable "needs-based" expenses in your life, like rent and food. Use 35 percent for negotiable "wants-based" expenses--entertainment and other costs can scale back quickly if needed. Save 15 percent. Your goal here should be to save about six months of your pay.

4. Don't try to keep up with the Jones's. There is no need to buy the best brand of everything right out of college. People in their 20s who are driving expensive cars, living in luxury apartments, and buying the most expensive clothes either already have money from something other than their first job or they are piling on debt--which isn't smart.

5. Pay off your highest interest-rate debt first. Hint: It's not always the debt with the highest balance. The debt with the highest interest rate is probably the credit card you ran up on bar tabs and that Spring Break trip in the final year of school. Pay that off first. Your student loans, while they carry a big balance and are possibly the scariest in terms of size, probably have a reasonable interest rate relative to any credit card debt.

6. Save four months of your salary in cash before you start investing after-tax money in an investment plan. This may take a while, but the journey of a thousand miles always begins with one step. This is important because if you lose your job, you'll need to make sure you are not forced to sell your few assets at fire-sale prices or default on debt payments at a young age. It will keep you from a panic and keep you from moving back into mom and dad's place.

[See How to Teach Your Child Money Habits for Life.]

This also gets easier,because once you have the first four months saved, you can apply that savings discipline toward an after-tax investment strategy, and as salary raises come along, you can tune up your savings plan to raise your cash balance over the course of six months to a year.

7. Be patient. It's easy to "want." Be patient; with hard work and good fiscal discipline, you will amass a nice portfolio that allows you to realize all the hopes and dreams you may have for later in life. There are probably a lot more major financial events in your future, and you'll want the flexibility to make proper decisions when the time comes.

Having cash, savings, and an investment portfolio that allow you the flexibility to take advantage of opportunities down the road will really help.

If you remember nothing else, remember this: While it seems like your life is full right now, there is probably a lot coming up--such as a first home, graduate school, and maybe even, gasp, kids!

David B. Armstrong CFA, is a Managing Director and co-founder of Monument Wealth Management in Alexandria VA, a full service Private Wealth Planning and wealth management firm. Monument Wealth Management is backed by LPL Financial, the independent broker-dealer and Registered Investment Advisor. He has been named one of America's Top 100 Financial Advisors for two straight years by Registered Rep magazine (2009 & 2010) based on asset under management. David and Monument Wealth Management can be followed on their blog at "Off The Wall", their Twitter account @MonumentWealth, and on their Facebook page. Member FINRA/SIPC.

*The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendation for individual. To determine which investment is appropriate please consult your financial advisor prior to investing. All performance references is historical and is not guarantee of future results. Securities and financial planning offered through LPL Financial, Member FINRA/SIPC.

--
Grace

"Failure is not defeat unless you stop trying"

7 Spending Tips From Frugal Billionaires

I read this right after I get to the office from a 1-inch jeepney seat and a mosh pit of a bus ride to Ayala. Can I be a billionaire first before being frugal? ;-p I guess not! Looks like i have to get used to body grinding from random people on the way to office LOL.

7 Spending Tips From Frugal Billionaires

by Jean Folger
Sunday, September 5, 2010

provided by

Carlos Slim Helu (Carlos Slim), a telecom tycoon and billionaire with well-known frugal tendencies, has a net worth of $60.6 billion, according to Forbes. Assuming no changes in his net worth, he could spend $1,150 a minute for the next 100 years before he ran out of money. To put this in perspective, he could spend in 13 minutes what a minimum-wage earner brings home after an entire year of the daily grind.

Granted, the world's billionaires (all 1,011 of them) are in the debatably enviable position of having, quite literally, more money than they can possibly spend, yet some are still living well below their means, and save money in surprising places. Even non-billionaires (currently 6,864,605,142 of us) can partake in these seven spending tips from frugal billionaires:

1. Keep Your Home Simple
Billionaires can afford to live in the most exclusive mansions imaginable -- and many do, including Bill Gates' sprawling 66,000 square foot, $147.5 million dollar mansion in Medina, Wash. -- yet frugal billionaires like Warren Buffett choose to keep it simple. Buffett still lives in the five-bedroom house in Omaha that he purchased in 1957 for $31,500. Likewise, Carlos Slim has lived in the same house for more than 40 years.

2. Use Self-Powered or Public Transportation
Thrifty billionaires including John Caudwell, David Cheriton and Chuck Feeney prefer to walk, bike or use public transportation when getting around town. Certainly these wealthy individuals could afford to take a helicopter to their lunch meetings, or ride in chauffeur-driven Bentleys, but they choose to get a little exercise and take advantage of public transportation instead. Good for the bank account and great for the environment.

3. Buy Your Clothes off the Rack
While some people, regardless of their net value, place a huge emphasis on wearing designer clothes and shoes, some frugal billionaires decide it's simply not worth the effort, or expense. You can find David Cheriton, the Stanford professor who matched Google founders Sergey Brin and Larry Page to the venture capitalists at Kleiner, Perkins, Caufield & Byers (resulting in a large reward of Google stock), wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

Ingvar Kamprad, the founder of the furniture company Ikea, avoids wearing suits, and John Caudwell, mobile phone mogul, buys his clothes off the rack instead of spending his wealth on designer clothes.

4. Keep your Scissors Sharp
The average haircut costs about $45, but people can and do spend up to $800 per cut and style. Multiply that by 8.6 (to account for a cut every six weeks) and it adds up to $7,200 per year, not including tips. These billionaires can certainly afford the most stylish haircuts, buy many cannot be bothered by the time it takes or the high price tag for the posh salons. Billionaires like John Caudwell and David Cheriton opt for cutting their own hair at home.

5. Drive a Regular Car
While billionaires like Larry Ellison (co-founder and CEO of Oracle Corporation) enjoy spending millions on cars, boats and planes, others remain low key with their vehicles of choice. Jim Walton (of the Wal-Mart clan) drives a 15-year-old pickup truck. Azim Premji, an Indian business tycoon, reportedly drives a Toyota Corolla. And Ingvar Kamprad of Ikea drives a 10-year-old Volvo. The idea is to buy a dependable car, and drive it into the ground. No need for a different car each day of the week for these frugal billionaires.

6. Skip Luxury Items
It may surprise some of us, but the world's wealthiest person, Carlos Slim (the one who could spend more than a thousand dollars a minute and not run out of money for one hundred years) does not own a yacht or a plane. (Reducing the amount you spend is the easiest way to make your money grow.)

Many other billionaires have chosen to skip these luxury items. Warren Buffett also avoids these lavish material items, stating, "Most toys are just a pain in the neck."

What We Can Learn
Some of the world's billionaires have frugal tendencies. Perhaps this thrifty nature even helped them make some of their money. Regardless, they have chosen to avoid some unnecessary spending (at least on their scale) and the 6,864,605,142 non-billionaires out there can follow suit, eliminating excessive, keep-up-with-the-Jones style spending. No matter what a person's income bracket is, most can usually find a way to cut back on frivolous spending, just like a few frugal billionaires.

--
Grace

"Failure is not defeat unless you stop trying"

Spot the difference.

Previously: I choose not to get a car
..because I'm expecting my boyfriend or husband to get one and drive me around

Currently: I choose not to get a car
...because it is financially  more practical not to.

It seems trivial but it makes a world of difference to me.

Empowerd woman, yeah!

Confused :-(

Confused. I don't know what I want to be....
--
Grace

"Failure is not defeat unless you stop trying"

Hospital Duty

I've been sleeping in the hospital and taking care of my mom for a couple of days now... and it has been affecting my mood lately. Apparently, staying in the hospital, albeit with free wifi, 24/7 aircon and 3 meals, is quite depressing.

Sigh.

I know I should be strong for my mom, but maybe I'm not that strong enough yet. I need to have Christian songs playing non-stop on my laptop to keep my mood from dropping.

May God help me and give me strength.

life lesson # 678 - do no always give a child everything she wants because she will have a problem adapting to change later on in life ... spoken from experience!