My butt is hurting from sitting too much! Sitting in the office for 8 hours! then sitting at home to facebook and fix my blog hahah! there should be some kind of built in butt massage in chairs.
Awhile ago I was feeling down (probably hormonal) and while on the bus, I was thinking that someone somewhere - probably a chemist - has already discovered a drug that would cure mood swings! However, due to adverse consequences of curing THE mood swing, he was paid by some big boss to just keep his findings to himself. After all, if everyone's mood swings would be cured, then it would be the death of commercialism as we know it!!! Who would then storm to the stores and get some retail therapy? Who'd patronize the so many restaurants with sinful but oh so delicious creations without mood swings that bring about impulsive eating? The bars would close! The casinos and massage parlors and most especially ice cream and chocolate parlors would close too! Everyone would be so cautious and practical, life would definitely be boring.
There's always two sides of a coin. Thanks then to my mood swings, it makes my life a little bit more exiciting! :-p
Showing posts with label Mood Swings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mood Swings. Show all posts
Monday, April 04, 2011
Sunday, April 06, 2008
On the Flip Side
On the flip side, my 'pampered' upbringing and the challenge that i face right now has made me come to terms on what I want to be in the next 5 years or so: I will be RICH!
That's Thought level 10! Feelings, Action and Results will follow with the same level of passion.
There's no sense worrying about cooking your own meal when you can afford to hire someone hehehe.
That's Thought level 10! Feelings, Action and Results will follow with the same level of passion.
There's no sense worrying about cooking your own meal when you can afford to hire someone hehehe.
Change Change Change
A deep feeling such as this definitely deserves a post in my 'real' and one and only blog...
There have been so many changes and events in my life lately...so many realizations and eye-opening experiences regarding life...
I remember back in grade school my friends and I were chatting in the corridor while waiting for the teacher to inspect our uniform...one of my friends said that her parents spank her using a bamboo stick, another one joined the conversation and said that her parents used a belt; I, on the other hand said that I was never spanked by my parents.
At that time, I thought I was lucky that I was not spanked by my parents; but now, I realized that I was not as fortunate as my classmates were.
A child who was never disciplined by his parents is going to have a very hard time in the real world...and that's exactly how I'm doing -- having a hard time.
I've been pampered my entire life, this is of course under my parents assumption that they will be able to continue to provide all the luxuries I was used to when I was a kid until before I leave their house. As you've already guessed, that assumption was wrong. Businesses go bankrupt and money disappears.
It was a very very slow process of learning for me... the very first thing I remember giving up was airconditioning. And I did this not by myself but through the influence of a friend.
Next things were about transportation.
First there was no more driver.. then no more car.. then my bro drove me...i eventually learned to ride a jeep but only the ayala loop jeep...next came the MRT but from Shang to Ayala only and not always...then jeep from Kartek to Sea Oil to ride with Arvin...
Then more recently, I've finally mustered up whatever inside me to commute going home: Walk from Philam Life Tower to the MRT Station @ SM. I even bought a stored value card to signify that I'll be doing this on a daily basis. Squeeze myself into the train to get to Santolan/Annapolis Station, then squeeze myself out. Walk towards Crame and to 1st avenue where the San Juan bound jeeps are. Aldrich meets me somewhere along Crame and we ride home together.
It may seem easy for 'normal' people but it is by far the biggest feat that I've accomplished.
Just a few hours ago, Aldrich and I cooked pancakes and he cooked some more of his breakfast food to eat. I washed some dishes and set the table. We sat down and started eating the pancakes. Then it suddenly dawned on me...Is this how life would be once I'm out of my parents house?
I had to cook so I'd have something to eat! And my pancakes didn't even meet up to my standards. I wanted to cry. Why is life so hard? Why is it so hard for me?
I felt that I was grossly unprepared for the 'real world' whereas other people have been immersed in it ever since. I was living in a bubble and now the bubble has disappeared completely.
I'm in the middle of the Rich Dad, Poor Dad book by Robert Kiyosaki and also attended a Cash Flow 101 workshop. From these I learned that schools do not give us any financial knowledge in order to make money work for us and not the other way around.
Sigh. So many things that I have to catch up on! Well, as they say, better late than never!
There have been so many changes and events in my life lately...so many realizations and eye-opening experiences regarding life...
I remember back in grade school my friends and I were chatting in the corridor while waiting for the teacher to inspect our uniform...one of my friends said that her parents spank her using a bamboo stick, another one joined the conversation and said that her parents used a belt; I, on the other hand said that I was never spanked by my parents.
At that time, I thought I was lucky that I was not spanked by my parents; but now, I realized that I was not as fortunate as my classmates were.
A child who was never disciplined by his parents is going to have a very hard time in the real world...and that's exactly how I'm doing -- having a hard time.
I've been pampered my entire life, this is of course under my parents assumption that they will be able to continue to provide all the luxuries I was used to when I was a kid until before I leave their house. As you've already guessed, that assumption was wrong. Businesses go bankrupt and money disappears.
It was a very very slow process of learning for me... the very first thing I remember giving up was airconditioning. And I did this not by myself but through the influence of a friend.
Next things were about transportation.
First there was no more driver.. then no more car.. then my bro drove me...i eventually learned to ride a jeep but only the ayala loop jeep...next came the MRT but from Shang to Ayala only and not always...then jeep from Kartek to Sea Oil to ride with Arvin...
Then more recently, I've finally mustered up whatever inside me to commute going home: Walk from Philam Life Tower to the MRT Station @ SM. I even bought a stored value card to signify that I'll be doing this on a daily basis. Squeeze myself into the train to get to Santolan/Annapolis Station, then squeeze myself out. Walk towards Crame and to 1st avenue where the San Juan bound jeeps are. Aldrich meets me somewhere along Crame and we ride home together.
It may seem easy for 'normal' people but it is by far the biggest feat that I've accomplished.
Just a few hours ago, Aldrich and I cooked pancakes and he cooked some more of his breakfast food to eat. I washed some dishes and set the table. We sat down and started eating the pancakes. Then it suddenly dawned on me...Is this how life would be once I'm out of my parents house?
I had to cook so I'd have something to eat! And my pancakes didn't even meet up to my standards. I wanted to cry. Why is life so hard? Why is it so hard for me?
I felt that I was grossly unprepared for the 'real world' whereas other people have been immersed in it ever since. I was living in a bubble and now the bubble has disappeared completely.
I'm in the middle of the Rich Dad, Poor Dad book by Robert Kiyosaki and also attended a Cash Flow 101 workshop. From these I learned that schools do not give us any financial knowledge in order to make money work for us and not the other way around.
Sigh. So many things that I have to catch up on! Well, as they say, better late than never!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Tick-Tock says the Clock
Aldrich is on night shift this week and I miss him...
I've been reading other people's blogs and i feel so logical..im so not used to myself
people are doing all these fun and adventurous things and what have i done?
> moved companies for better pay
> blogged about management accounting
> checked out entrepreneurship courses
> thought about opening a short term time deposit
> plan to enroll in driving lessons because of need
what is happening to me??
all the other 'fun' things that i did today are related to food..but they're not guilt-free
> had Coffee Bun + Brewed Coffee from Delifrance (can i just say again that DF's brewed coffee si really good.. caramelly sweet and perfect without any cream or sugar)
> had donuts from Marj
there. i played badminton yesterday too.
maybe I'm just growing up or really trying to set my life in order - control my spending, planning for the future.
Ii hear the clock ticking...I'll be 26 in September!!! eek!
Do i have money to buy a car?
Do i have money to buy a house?
Do i have money for settling down?
Sigh. I'm pressured!
I've been reading other people's blogs and i feel so logical..im so not used to myself
people are doing all these fun and adventurous things and what have i done?
> moved companies for better pay
> blogged about management accounting
> checked out entrepreneurship courses
> thought about opening a short term time deposit
> plan to enroll in driving lessons because of need
what is happening to me??
all the other 'fun' things that i did today are related to food..but they're not guilt-free
> had Coffee Bun + Brewed Coffee from Delifrance (can i just say again that DF's brewed coffee si really good.. caramelly sweet and perfect without any cream or sugar)
> had donuts from Marj
there. i played badminton yesterday too.
maybe I'm just growing up or really trying to set my life in order - control my spending, planning for the future.
Ii hear the clock ticking...I'll be 26 in September!!! eek!
Do i have money to buy a car?
Do i have money to buy a house?
Do i have money for settling down?
Sigh. I'm pressured!
Monday, June 11, 2007
Help, I'm Having a Mood Swing!
Help, I'm having a mood swing! What is a mood swing? It's an involuntary, hard-t0-control sudden shift of mood that usually happens to people (esp. women) who are emotional.
I'm trying to use what logic to fight it off, but sometimes, the feeling is overwhelming. I suddenly feel terribly, utterly sad. I suddenly feel 'na-eewan'- an inexplicable state that usually frustrate boyfriends . i feel bored, i feel that i want to cry, i feel that i want to disappear. Then after a while, im okay! I have my sense of purpose back again.. it's as if nothing happened.
If you are a guy who tries to understand this state, then you'd better have loads and loads of patience and plenty of understanding. Sometimes, it just unfathomable.
I suddenly remember the book that my friend lent me, Managing Your Emotions. I haven't gotten to reading it yet, i'm not in the mood. (haha)
I'm trying to use what logic to fight it off, but sometimes, the feeling is overwhelming. I suddenly feel terribly, utterly sad. I suddenly feel 'na-eewan'- an inexplicable state that usually frustrate boyfriends . i feel bored, i feel that i want to cry, i feel that i want to disappear. Then after a while, im okay! I have my sense of purpose back again.. it's as if nothing happened.
If you are a guy who tries to understand this state, then you'd better have loads and loads of patience and plenty of understanding. Sometimes, it just unfathomable.
I suddenly remember the book that my friend lent me, Managing Your Emotions. I haven't gotten to reading it yet, i'm not in the mood. (haha)
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Icky Sugar Feeling
Dear Blog,
Too much sugar and oily foods leave you feeling crummy after a while. It grossly affects your mood and you can’t seem to focus and do anything right. I hate it when that happens… much like now. Sigh.
I just read a back issue of GQ with Uma Thurman on the cover; this was during the height of Kill Bill and her divorce with director Ethan Hawke. Also in the issue was the case of Opus Dei. I wonder if people who are inclined to S&M would be able to endure ‘the discipline’ more than the others, and well, enjoy it more than others.
I do not fully understand that religious sect, so I shall not judge. One thing I’m sure of, though, is that I’d never become one. Heck, I can’t even get it straight with Catholicisim and Protestantism. What’s with all these religions anyway?
I always seem to screw up my Sundays. I can’t get past the sleeping after lunch part, then eating when my brothers arrive, then watching TV, then trying to do my homework, then talking to Drich before I go to sleep. It’s been two nights in a row that I’ve had ‘impromptu’ sleep. This means that I didn’t mean to sleep, like just lying down to rest or close my eyes, but I fall asleep without consciously meaning to and wake up the next morning. I don’t like it when that happens to me coz it just means that I’m very tired and probably stressed.
Logically, I don’t think I should be stressed, but I guess my upbringing was very stress-free, so now it’s much harder for me to cope with stress.
Icky-sugar feeling is still here, ugh. I need to shake this off so that I can focus on my homework. Mango Terrine in Panciteria Lido did this. Well, I did this to myself coz I was the one who ordered it. Oh well. I should have just stuck with the brewed coffee, it was great already.
Japanese doll wall decorations at the restaurant.
Too much sugar and oily foods leave you feeling crummy after a while. It grossly affects your mood and you can’t seem to focus and do anything right. I hate it when that happens… much like now. Sigh.
I just read a back issue of GQ with Uma Thurman on the cover; this was during the height of Kill Bill and her divorce with director Ethan Hawke. Also in the issue was the case of Opus Dei. I wonder if people who are inclined to S&M would be able to endure ‘the discipline’ more than the others, and well, enjoy it more than others.
I do not fully understand that religious sect, so I shall not judge. One thing I’m sure of, though, is that I’d never become one. Heck, I can’t even get it straight with Catholicisim and Protestantism. What’s with all these religions anyway?
I always seem to screw up my Sundays. I can’t get past the sleeping after lunch part, then eating when my brothers arrive, then watching TV, then trying to do my homework, then talking to Drich before I go to sleep. It’s been two nights in a row that I’ve had ‘impromptu’ sleep. This means that I didn’t mean to sleep, like just lying down to rest or close my eyes, but I fall asleep without consciously meaning to and wake up the next morning. I don’t like it when that happens to me coz it just means that I’m very tired and probably stressed.
Logically, I don’t think I should be stressed, but I guess my upbringing was very stress-free, so now it’s much harder for me to cope with stress.
Icky-sugar feeling is still here, ugh. I need to shake this off so that I can focus on my homework. Mango Terrine in Panciteria Lido did this. Well, I did this to myself coz I was the one who ordered it. Oh well. I should have just stuck with the brewed coffee, it was great already.
Japanese doll wall decorations at the restaurant.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
I'm feeling kinda down right now and there's no one to talk to about it coz i don't think anyone in particular will be interested to hear about my problem coz frankly, i'm not really into the topic either that's why it's one of my problems...ang gulo ko!
Anyways, here's the thing. I was the newly appointed Training Coordinator for our project at work and there are tons of paperwork and surveys and metrics and stuff to do which i couldn't really grasp and understand when the role and its correspoding tasks were transitioned to me last December...so i guess i put off understanding the role completely..
Up until now, i still don't really grasp all the stuff that i have to do, what i hoped was that i'd gradually get it as time goes by..but that would mean missing an number of requirements...but i just kept it at the end of my priority list..
Then suddenly, there are these sets of interviews ongoing this week to assess how the project is doing and i, as the training coordinator, am going to be interviewed tomorrow! Basically, the team measuring the project's performance is gonna ask me if i have been doing my tasks and if the team members are amply aware of the trainings they have to take and some basic procedures, etc.
The thing is, i am not ready and the team members are not aware. Hayyy, this really makes me feel so bad!!! After cramming for the interview, i found out just tonight that there are so many documents and stuff that i'm not updating! I'm gonna get killed in tomorrow's interview no matter how nice the interviewer is.
I dont' really wanna tell any of co-workers about this in detail coz i feel that this topic is kinda boring to them, i dont' wanna tell Richard either coz he's going to Boracay tomorrow and these things will probably be just dust in the wind to him or something. Maybe i could tell Aldrich but he's not around anymore and i just dont' wanna bother him right now, coz i just bothered him last night...so there, no one to tell...but my blog.
I'm still at the office and i'm still feeling crappy about myself. There's nothing i can do anyway to salvage what i didn't do. I guess i'd just tell them that everything's in progress and i'll make up for the tasks in the future...boohoo!
Anyways, here's the thing. I was the newly appointed Training Coordinator for our project at work and there are tons of paperwork and surveys and metrics and stuff to do which i couldn't really grasp and understand when the role and its correspoding tasks were transitioned to me last December...so i guess i put off understanding the role completely..
Up until now, i still don't really grasp all the stuff that i have to do, what i hoped was that i'd gradually get it as time goes by..but that would mean missing an number of requirements...but i just kept it at the end of my priority list..
Then suddenly, there are these sets of interviews ongoing this week to assess how the project is doing and i, as the training coordinator, am going to be interviewed tomorrow! Basically, the team measuring the project's performance is gonna ask me if i have been doing my tasks and if the team members are amply aware of the trainings they have to take and some basic procedures, etc.
The thing is, i am not ready and the team members are not aware. Hayyy, this really makes me feel so bad!!! After cramming for the interview, i found out just tonight that there are so many documents and stuff that i'm not updating! I'm gonna get killed in tomorrow's interview no matter how nice the interviewer is.
I dont' really wanna tell any of co-workers about this in detail coz i feel that this topic is kinda boring to them, i dont' wanna tell Richard either coz he's going to Boracay tomorrow and these things will probably be just dust in the wind to him or something. Maybe i could tell Aldrich but he's not around anymore and i just dont' wanna bother him right now, coz i just bothered him last night...so there, no one to tell...but my blog.
I'm still at the office and i'm still feeling crappy about myself. There's nothing i can do anyway to salvage what i didn't do. I guess i'd just tell them that everything's in progress and i'll make up for the tasks in the future...boohoo!
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
I feel so sucky.....
Long story but i'll just post the thoughts i had the other day...
I was supposed to blog about the idea of living in 3 environments (ang konti, noh?) I was just thinking about it while on my way to work....These 3 environements are modeling environment, accenture environment, and me&oli environement.
Of course, when in the company of wolves act like wolves do. (I just made up the wolves thing coz i can't remember the exact quote, hehehe)
The Modeling Environment
Physical appearance is the keyword here. We talk about beauty products, body maintenance, fashion trends, pop culture, guys, money, typical girlie model stuff.
"What shampoo do you use? You're hair is sooo shiny!"
"Did you go to the go-see/ VTR/ casting call by this agent? Is the budget high?"
"I wanna buy cute, flat shoes!" "I'm getting fat already...diet, diet, diet"
The IT Environment
Computers and techie stuff rule this world. One will hear terms like server, strings, codes, errors, status reports. More specifically, words like brown bags, sunsets and sunrise, which i think are accenture-centric words, keep on popping up each day.
"Were you able to access the database?" "I'll have to restart the server"
"What's the Java code to fix this error?"
"Please email me the status of the product test that you executed..."
The Oli Environment
This environment, I can say, is where i am the most comfortable. I am all that i am in this environement. I am corny. I am silly. I am childish. I am beautiful. I am glamorous. I am immature. I am thoughtful. I am loving. I can be me, warts and all. Doesn't matter if i'm not a supermodel, doesn't matter if i'm not a computer genius, what matters is how i am as a person.
Sad to say, i'm still not perfect at that department. I still have so much more to learn in being a good gf!
I'm a work in progress in all the environments that I'm in. There's always room for improvement. I believe that it's the imperfections in life that push a person to grow and become better....la lang just trying to cheer myself up...
Long story but i'll just post the thoughts i had the other day...
I was supposed to blog about the idea of living in 3 environments (ang konti, noh?) I was just thinking about it while on my way to work....These 3 environements are modeling environment, accenture environment, and me&oli environement.
Of course, when in the company of wolves act like wolves do. (I just made up the wolves thing coz i can't remember the exact quote, hehehe)
The Modeling Environment
Physical appearance is the keyword here. We talk about beauty products, body maintenance, fashion trends, pop culture, guys, money, typical girlie model stuff.
"What shampoo do you use? You're hair is sooo shiny!"
"Did you go to the go-see/ VTR/ casting call by this agent? Is the budget high?"
"I wanna buy cute, flat shoes!" "I'm getting fat already...diet, diet, diet"
The IT Environment
Computers and techie stuff rule this world. One will hear terms like server, strings, codes, errors, status reports. More specifically, words like brown bags, sunsets and sunrise, which i think are accenture-centric words, keep on popping up each day.
"Were you able to access the database?" "I'll have to restart the server"
"What's the Java code to fix this error?"
"Please email me the status of the product test that you executed..."
The Oli Environment
This environment, I can say, is where i am the most comfortable. I am all that i am in this environement. I am corny. I am silly. I am childish. I am beautiful. I am glamorous. I am immature. I am thoughtful. I am loving. I can be me, warts and all. Doesn't matter if i'm not a supermodel, doesn't matter if i'm not a computer genius, what matters is how i am as a person.
Sad to say, i'm still not perfect at that department. I still have so much more to learn in being a good gf!
I'm a work in progress in all the environments that I'm in. There's always room for improvement. I believe that it's the imperfections in life that push a person to grow and become better....la lang just trying to cheer myself up...
Thursday, July 15, 2004
I'm here at work right now, feeling restless coz it's raining....
AT THE MOMENT
Listening to: Anytime, Anyplace by Janet Jackson from Yahoo Launch Cast
Reading: Chat messages from my office mates (Karen, Jane Arvin); Procurement.pdf
Thinking: Where my Oli is coz no one's answering his home phone; If i'll get in the Globe work under Tanya.
Feeling: Restless and in a low mood suddenly....i don't know why.....
I just wanted to post coz i don't know where else to share my thoughts....syempre here at my blog...feeling senti...feeling weird.
AT THE MOMENT
Listening to: Anytime, Anyplace by Janet Jackson from Yahoo Launch Cast
Reading: Chat messages from my office mates (Karen, Jane Arvin); Procurement.pdf
Thinking: Where my Oli is coz no one's answering his home phone; If i'll get in the Globe work under Tanya.
Feeling: Restless and in a low mood suddenly....i don't know why.....
I just wanted to post coz i don't know where else to share my thoughts....syempre here at my blog...feeling senti...feeling weird.
Thursday, May 13, 2004
LOTSA EMOTIONS PASSING THROUGH ME RIGHT NOW...
I'M MISSING ATENEO, COZ MY BF AND I BROUGHT AND FETCHED HIS LIL BRO THERE FOR THE MILO BEST BASKETBALL CAMP...I FEEL LIKE I DIDN'T TREASURE MY STAY IN ATENEO ENOUGH WHILE I WAS THERE...NOW I'M MISSING IT LIKE CRAZY BUT THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ANYOMERE..NO MORE TURNING BACK...BOOHOO IT SOOOOO SAD!
I'M HATING MYSELF COZ I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH SELF CONTROL AND I DON'T THINK BEFORE I DO SOMETHING...IMPULSIVE MEEEEE
I'M MISSING ATENEO, COZ MY BF AND I BROUGHT AND FETCHED HIS LIL BRO THERE FOR THE MILO BEST BASKETBALL CAMP...I FEEL LIKE I DIDN'T TREASURE MY STAY IN ATENEO ENOUGH WHILE I WAS THERE...NOW I'M MISSING IT LIKE CRAZY BUT THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ANYOMERE..NO MORE TURNING BACK...BOOHOO IT SOOOOO SAD!
I'M HATING MYSELF COZ I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH SELF CONTROL AND I DON'T THINK BEFORE I DO SOMETHING...IMPULSIVE MEEEEE
Sunday, April 04, 2004
I'm feeling DEPRESSED again...FAT and DEPRESSED.... Can i just forget about all my problems? can i just lie down, and wake up the next day with a clean slate? Yeah, i know the answer's NO. life sucks.
Why am i not determined enough? Why am i so emotional? Why why why? Why can't i overcome my weakness? I feel so weak and useless and pathetic. Grrrrrr. I have failed, again and again and again.
I'm so tired of failing. My life is an entire failure!
Sigh, i just don't feel good about myself right now......
Why am i not determined enough? Why am i so emotional? Why why why? Why can't i overcome my weakness? I feel so weak and useless and pathetic. Grrrrrr. I have failed, again and again and again.
I'm so tired of failing. My life is an entire failure!
Sigh, i just don't feel good about myself right now......
Sunday, March 30, 2003
Bad Coke Mood
I actually feel bad that they kicked me out of Vanilla Coke. Well, it's not confirmed officially, of course, but what does not having shifts for the past 2 weeks mean, right? Ok so maybe not kicked out but demoted as reliever or buffer? That sucks.
This incident is really affecting my mood that I seem to have lost the drive to improve myself (meaning: work out, diet, workshops, summer plans, etc.) Right now, I feel like I'm in il y a, but I'm not because I'm saying that I am--that's consciousness. Oh, whatever.
Another thing that frustrates me is that I still haven't gotten my talent fee from my last 2 shifts! I don’t have money anymore, boohoo! My plans of meeting up with Mrs. Falcon have proved futile and here I am again waiting for her text on whether I'll meet her tonight at Eastwood. Honestly, I'm not anticipating it. I don’t know when I'm gonna get my money! I need dough for a hair treatment and I wanna buy my Oli some clothes--for a change naman diba?
……….after 2 hours…………
I'm back from Eastwood, my meeting with Mrs. Falcon pushed through! Yey, so now I'm loaded! but take note: soon to be gone again hehe! And another good thing that I found out is I wasn’t kicked out of Vanilla Coke naman pala. Mrs Falcon told us (my mom, sis and me) that Vanilla Coke's permit to hold promotions was withheld and that right now, they could only work in SM North Edsa and SM Manila yata or Fairview, something like that. Whew, what a relief! She also said that operations might get back to normal by next week…yey which means more money but there's still a bit of apprehension in me about being demoted…hehe wala lang.
The Six Meals Diet
I'm trying out another diet coz I keep on forgetting about the Zen method of eating. My new diet spaces meals at least 2 hours apart so I get to eat 6 small meals. I think this really works because it keeps the metabolism at a fast pace, which means lesser chance of diet plateaus where you get stuck with the same ugly weight forever! To convince you more, my friend Diana Sadie used this diet to somewhat prepare for the Bb. Pilipinas pageant. Get this: she went from a 27-inch to a 24-inch waistline!!! There is hope for me!!! Of course, the key word here is DISCIPLINE and CONSISTENCY. No matter how great the program, if you don't stick to it, nothing will happen.
Well, my spirits have somewhat uplifted so now I think I'm ready to pour myself into this program, I hope circumstances don't make it hard for me, though. Hehe, but I shall be ready!!!
Stupid Pre-paid ISPs!
While I'm having trouble connecting to the Internet with my 2 pathetic ISPs, let me rant about them… I bought two prepaid cards, ISP Bonanza priced at P100 and offers 24 hours of internet use and BLAST priced at P100 also but offers 9 hours of internet use. Of course ISP bonanza is less reliable but my first encounter with it wasn't so bad or maybe I had a longer patience then. But now, it's driving me nuts! It can't even finish dialing and it says that the line is busy which is not true! So I try out the more reliable BLAST, and it says that something's wrong with my connection properties blah, but I just used the exact same thing last night and it was perfectly fine! Argh! How I wish I had Destiny Cable Internet like Ann! No more dial-ups and you're always connected! Of course, I don't have the budget for that and I'm not a very very frequent internet user. So I don't know if it's worth it.
There's the point. I'm not a very frequent user na nga but in those few times that I try to get on the Internet, I still can't because of these stupid prepaid cards! Huhu lemme try connecting again…
I actually feel bad that they kicked me out of Vanilla Coke. Well, it's not confirmed officially, of course, but what does not having shifts for the past 2 weeks mean, right? Ok so maybe not kicked out but demoted as reliever or buffer? That sucks.
This incident is really affecting my mood that I seem to have lost the drive to improve myself (meaning: work out, diet, workshops, summer plans, etc.) Right now, I feel like I'm in il y a, but I'm not because I'm saying that I am--that's consciousness. Oh, whatever.
Another thing that frustrates me is that I still haven't gotten my talent fee from my last 2 shifts! I don’t have money anymore, boohoo! My plans of meeting up with Mrs. Falcon have proved futile and here I am again waiting for her text on whether I'll meet her tonight at Eastwood. Honestly, I'm not anticipating it. I don’t know when I'm gonna get my money! I need dough for a hair treatment and I wanna buy my Oli some clothes--for a change naman diba?
……….after 2 hours…………
I'm back from Eastwood, my meeting with Mrs. Falcon pushed through! Yey, so now I'm loaded! but take note: soon to be gone again hehe! And another good thing that I found out is I wasn’t kicked out of Vanilla Coke naman pala. Mrs Falcon told us (my mom, sis and me) that Vanilla Coke's permit to hold promotions was withheld and that right now, they could only work in SM North Edsa and SM Manila yata or Fairview, something like that. Whew, what a relief! She also said that operations might get back to normal by next week…yey which means more money but there's still a bit of apprehension in me about being demoted…hehe wala lang.
The Six Meals Diet
I'm trying out another diet coz I keep on forgetting about the Zen method of eating. My new diet spaces meals at least 2 hours apart so I get to eat 6 small meals. I think this really works because it keeps the metabolism at a fast pace, which means lesser chance of diet plateaus where you get stuck with the same ugly weight forever! To convince you more, my friend Diana Sadie used this diet to somewhat prepare for the Bb. Pilipinas pageant. Get this: she went from a 27-inch to a 24-inch waistline!!! There is hope for me!!! Of course, the key word here is DISCIPLINE and CONSISTENCY. No matter how great the program, if you don't stick to it, nothing will happen.
Well, my spirits have somewhat uplifted so now I think I'm ready to pour myself into this program, I hope circumstances don't make it hard for me, though. Hehe, but I shall be ready!!!
Stupid Pre-paid ISPs!
While I'm having trouble connecting to the Internet with my 2 pathetic ISPs, let me rant about them… I bought two prepaid cards, ISP Bonanza priced at P100 and offers 24 hours of internet use and BLAST priced at P100 also but offers 9 hours of internet use. Of course ISP bonanza is less reliable but my first encounter with it wasn't so bad or maybe I had a longer patience then. But now, it's driving me nuts! It can't even finish dialing and it says that the line is busy which is not true! So I try out the more reliable BLAST, and it says that something's wrong with my connection properties blah, but I just used the exact same thing last night and it was perfectly fine! Argh! How I wish I had Destiny Cable Internet like Ann! No more dial-ups and you're always connected! Of course, I don't have the budget for that and I'm not a very very frequent internet user. So I don't know if it's worth it.
There's the point. I'm not a very frequent user na nga but in those few times that I try to get on the Internet, I still can't because of these stupid prepaid cards! Huhu lemme try connecting again…
Friday, December 20, 2002
I am so saaaaad...... i was really looking forward to going out today to watch a movie with my friends..but then it seems that the odds were against it... i woke up quite early actually kc kirsten, my boyfriend's sister texted me asking about the stuff i was gonna let her bring to school. It turns out that exhaustion got the better part of my mom and she forgot to tell the driver to bring the stuff--goodies--to oli's house. Well, i was of course really annoyed but things worked out naman. Nahabol pa rin ung mga goodies. Then i texted mel and angela then i think i dozed off. I remember cancelling my alarm of 830 coz i said i'll sleep for 10 minutes. more. Turns out that i slept for 45 minutes more! aaargh i kinda hurried but we were going out so i still had to select something nice to wear. BOOHOO I guess i shouldn't have kc now im here in school and we're not gonna watch the ring! BOOHOO We have to wait for the teacher's 2:30 class in order to take the test. argh friggin test! Argh which reminds me that if our first paper was passed on time then we wouldn't have to stay for a stupid quiz pa cguro. huhuhuhuhu Actually i feel bad enought to throw caution to the wind and not take the test, i want to watch a movie and ahve fun! But mel has missed some quizzes na and it's so selfish of me naman to impose on her, right? It's the right thing to do rin naman, i shoud set my priorities straight--studies first before fun. Well, if it's any consolation, we're gonna watch on Monday. Tomorrow, i'll be going out with oli--it's our 3 years and 9 month anniversary! Wow! We're gonna watch Lord of the Rings and use that free Max's Chicken Dinner for Two certificate that i won during the bazaar at Forbes. Jouissance.
Hey it's so nice that friends give you gifts and to think i don't have gifts for them yet! hehe cliff gave me a complete guide to baking book! Mel gave me Taste-Berry Stories for the Heart book! Ann gave me a radio/flashlight! hehe and Cathy gave me a dice necklace!
I met up with Whang kanina and gave him his order, gave him revel bars rin. Kind of my Christmas gift to him for being nice to me and for being there for me when i desperately needed someone to talk to. Well, i hope he doesn't get big headed about it and say that, "Hey Grace gave me a box of revel bars for Christmas" Like as if sinusuhulan ko sya or something. I really hope not coz he's such a nice person sans that air....
AArgh i'm sad i again, i wonder what i can do to cheer myself up. Feeling ko nga babagsak din ako sa test later or something. Di ko rin naman binasa. huhuhuhuhuhu
Magbabake pa uli ako later.sigh. Sad. Huhu. Sad, HuHu, pathetic!
So what am i gonna do now? eWAN i'll post this first before it gets lost in cyberspace.
Hey it's so nice that friends give you gifts and to think i don't have gifts for them yet! hehe cliff gave me a complete guide to baking book! Mel gave me Taste-Berry Stories for the Heart book! Ann gave me a radio/flashlight! hehe and Cathy gave me a dice necklace!
I met up with Whang kanina and gave him his order, gave him revel bars rin. Kind of my Christmas gift to him for being nice to me and for being there for me when i desperately needed someone to talk to. Well, i hope he doesn't get big headed about it and say that, "Hey Grace gave me a box of revel bars for Christmas" Like as if sinusuhulan ko sya or something. I really hope not coz he's such a nice person sans that air....
AArgh i'm sad i again, i wonder what i can do to cheer myself up. Feeling ko nga babagsak din ako sa test later or something. Di ko rin naman binasa. huhuhuhuhuhu
Magbabake pa uli ako later.sigh. Sad. Huhu. Sad, HuHu, pathetic!
So what am i gonna do now? eWAN i'll post this first before it gets lost in cyberspace.
Saturday, December 07, 2002
i just came from green hills and i feel weird! parang you wana pee na hindi na excited ka over something pero hindi mo alam kung ano..ganun ka weird.... ??? Feeling ko parang ang complex ng buhay ko parang andaming nangyayaring hindi ko inaasahan but then i guess that's how life is supposed to be..complex and confusing. Mel and I went to Booksale kanina ang i bought this book about appreciating the litte, simple, common things in life. Those things that we often neglect or overlook, things that we take for granted. Seeing the book reminded me of another philo class and also ambeth's history class. Even though frustrating makinig kay dr. garcia, the topic he's discussing makes sense naman so i suggest that we all read the book! hahaha and ask the assistants about the lesson na lang hehe baaaad! oh well..
I wanna post oli's thoughts about the topic of my first boyfriend should be my husband there are some parts from me mixed inside rin..
I won't deny that this idea has crossed my mind a lot of times, but I never did stop to think where this idea came from. I believe that man has this natural craving to be appreciated and to gain recognition, which is why man desires to be successful. Somehow, in our society, when a person understands something or is successful at something he does over the first try, it is considered a bigger achievement than getting it during a second try. Somehow, doing well during the first try is given more weight and meaning. When a girl gets married and she announces that her husband was her first and only boyfriend, people would gush and say, 'Wow!" or "You're so lucky!" This kind of belief simply reinforces the idea that my first boyfriend should be my husband.
This isn't to say that this idea is purely bad or purely good, it really depends on how one or both parties handle the situation/relationship. First relationships are always a trial stage where one tests the water and gets a feel of things. It is when one starts to gain maturity by thinking more of the other person and having a responsibility for that other person. Being in a relationship is the stage when one leaves the self-centered lifestyle for a more mature and other-centered one.
So when things are going well during the 'first try', it is inevitable that one will wish to stay with that person for eternity. This is the romantic point of view of people, of the happily ever afters. After all, the first try really plays a big part in one's relationships because it will set down the standards for other relationships to follow. One can't help but compare succeeding relationships with previous ones--trying to learn from the past. First relationships will always serve as a guide on the do's and don’ts for other relationships to come.
Relying on the idea that my first boyfriend should be my husband also gives one a sense of security that one does not have to keep on searching for the 'right one' by going into one relationship to another. However, this is a false sense of security because I believe that life and relationships are all about taking risks. Risks may give you good or bad news, whichever way, it would help you grow and mature into a better person. If one never takes risks, one will never progress. It is in taking the first step that one is able to walk for miles.
So during the times when the purpose of the relationship does not get fulfilled, both parties can still work things out through communication and by renewing their perspective in the relationship. However, it is not necessary to keep on focusing on the idea that my first boyfriend should be my husband, using it as the reason why the couple should work things out. If things really seem unmendable, then one should not force it just because you want to get married to the person. Because if you do, it would just end up in a divorce, making your efforts pointless
I just want to comment again about risks... wala lang, recently kc we took a risk in our relationship and i feel that even though it was really really hard, it was worth it and is still worth it and will be worth it. You know when you have an intution, when you know that something will work out and will bring things to a better height? Wala lang...i am just amazed how complicated life could get and how simple-minded i could be because i'm just starting to understand things now after 3 years and 8 months++ of being together. I'm just starting to understand the purspose of things, thank you to Fr. Dacanay's theo class for the added enrichment...
I feel that i have grown wiser through experience...i feel giving motherly advice right now hehe... i just want to tell those kiddies who are getting into bf/gf relationships not to take things as if they're playing games.Not to go into a relationship just for the heck of it, just to be in, just because someone's knocking on your door. The purpose of relationships are supposed to make you more mature, to enhance spiritual growth in both parties! The purpose of genuine love is spiritual growth, genuine love is circular, genuine love is an act of will, genuine love requires effort! haaaay wow talaga i can't wait for theo class kasi parang meron akong mini- relationship guide from fr dacanay.....
I wanna post oli's thoughts about the topic of my first boyfriend should be my husband there are some parts from me mixed inside rin..
I won't deny that this idea has crossed my mind a lot of times, but I never did stop to think where this idea came from. I believe that man has this natural craving to be appreciated and to gain recognition, which is why man desires to be successful. Somehow, in our society, when a person understands something or is successful at something he does over the first try, it is considered a bigger achievement than getting it during a second try. Somehow, doing well during the first try is given more weight and meaning. When a girl gets married and she announces that her husband was her first and only boyfriend, people would gush and say, 'Wow!" or "You're so lucky!" This kind of belief simply reinforces the idea that my first boyfriend should be my husband.
This isn't to say that this idea is purely bad or purely good, it really depends on how one or both parties handle the situation/relationship. First relationships are always a trial stage where one tests the water and gets a feel of things. It is when one starts to gain maturity by thinking more of the other person and having a responsibility for that other person. Being in a relationship is the stage when one leaves the self-centered lifestyle for a more mature and other-centered one.
So when things are going well during the 'first try', it is inevitable that one will wish to stay with that person for eternity. This is the romantic point of view of people, of the happily ever afters. After all, the first try really plays a big part in one's relationships because it will set down the standards for other relationships to follow. One can't help but compare succeeding relationships with previous ones--trying to learn from the past. First relationships will always serve as a guide on the do's and don’ts for other relationships to come.
Relying on the idea that my first boyfriend should be my husband also gives one a sense of security that one does not have to keep on searching for the 'right one' by going into one relationship to another. However, this is a false sense of security because I believe that life and relationships are all about taking risks. Risks may give you good or bad news, whichever way, it would help you grow and mature into a better person. If one never takes risks, one will never progress. It is in taking the first step that one is able to walk for miles.
So during the times when the purpose of the relationship does not get fulfilled, both parties can still work things out through communication and by renewing their perspective in the relationship. However, it is not necessary to keep on focusing on the idea that my first boyfriend should be my husband, using it as the reason why the couple should work things out. If things really seem unmendable, then one should not force it just because you want to get married to the person. Because if you do, it would just end up in a divorce, making your efforts pointless
I just want to comment again about risks... wala lang, recently kc we took a risk in our relationship and i feel that even though it was really really hard, it was worth it and is still worth it and will be worth it. You know when you have an intution, when you know that something will work out and will bring things to a better height? Wala lang...i am just amazed how complicated life could get and how simple-minded i could be because i'm just starting to understand things now after 3 years and 8 months++ of being together. I'm just starting to understand the purspose of things, thank you to Fr. Dacanay's theo class for the added enrichment...
I feel that i have grown wiser through experience...i feel giving motherly advice right now hehe... i just want to tell those kiddies who are getting into bf/gf relationships not to take things as if they're playing games.Not to go into a relationship just for the heck of it, just to be in, just because someone's knocking on your door. The purpose of relationships are supposed to make you more mature, to enhance spiritual growth in both parties! The purpose of genuine love is spiritual growth, genuine love is circular, genuine love is an act of will, genuine love requires effort! haaaay wow talaga i can't wait for theo class kasi parang meron akong mini- relationship guide from fr dacanay.....
Wednesday, November 13, 2002
I feel so sucky today...and sticky too. I guess this is the feeling you get when you get home from a 4:30 class...all hot and sticky which has the propensity of giving me a bad mood....sigh oh well, that's life i guess..
When i was younger (in the teen years) i kept on making lotsa stupid mistakes and kept on regretting making the wrong decision...now that i've stepped out of the teen years, although i don't regret that much anymore, i feel more stupid. Isn't that pathetic? I think that although i don't regret, i just take my mistake in stride--too much as a matter of fact! But you know, i've thought about this a million times and now i'm still thinking the same thing. ..i just keep repeating what i think but never do anything about it.
I guess is should be more positive.
I want to live a different life. I want to be somebody else. Identity crisis, you ask? No, i'm just bored and having a sucky day.
I know i'll feel better later, maybe around 11:00 pm when my boyfriend starts to try to make me feel better (tell me some corny jokes) and i'll forget about everything again.
That's how it is. That's my life.
When i was younger (in the teen years) i kept on making lotsa stupid mistakes and kept on regretting making the wrong decision...now that i've stepped out of the teen years, although i don't regret that much anymore, i feel more stupid. Isn't that pathetic? I think that although i don't regret, i just take my mistake in stride--too much as a matter of fact! But you know, i've thought about this a million times and now i'm still thinking the same thing. ..i just keep repeating what i think but never do anything about it.
I guess is should be more positive.
I want to live a different life. I want to be somebody else. Identity crisis, you ask? No, i'm just bored and having a sucky day.
I know i'll feel better later, maybe around 11:00 pm when my boyfriend starts to try to make me feel better (tell me some corny jokes) and i'll forget about everything again.
That's how it is. That's my life.
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