I ABSOLUTELY LOVE BRITNEY SPEARS!!!!
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Thursday, April 22, 2004
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
I'm watching FashionTV right now and the clothes at the Beijing Fashion Week are sooo adorable! Definitely wearable by normal people, but of course, would look best on thin and toned people!
******
So Far, So Good
I had my 2nd interview at Accenture this morning and i think i was able to convince the interviewer that i'm really interested and fit for the position even though i'm not a CS major.
She's convinced, but how about me? Have i convinced myself yet? Hahaha, i dunno!!!
My Big Blooper
I just got home from the Magandang Morning, Philippines VTR. It was easy, just had to introduce yourself,read the spiel--read and not memorize! Cool, coz i thought we were supposed to deliver it from memory so i kinda memorized it. Then came my blooper. I was asked which presidential candiate i would vote for and why. So i said i was undecided at the moment but it was most probably between Ping Lacson and Raul Roco. Not that i really liked them but because i didn't like GMA, FPJ and Bro. Eddie more.
After that, the guy kinda abruptly said thank you and we'll just contact you if ever we choose you to be our guest host. Your contact number is here naman. So that didn't sound good. On my way out of the building, it suddenly hit me! The freakin' show was PRO-GMA! Damn, how stupid of me to forget! It was what i kept on telling Ria and Cissy when i watched an episode of the show, that it's so obviously PRO-GMA and while i was waiting for the cameramen to arrive a while ago, people wearing GMA for President vests were going in and out of the office! AAAARGH! STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID! I wanna kick myself! OUCH! hehehe Oh well, a really BIG OH WELL!
So Far, So Good
I had my 2nd interview at Accenture this morning and i think i was able to convince the interviewer that i'm really interested and fit for the position even though i'm not a CS major.
She's convinced, but how about me? Have i convinced myself yet? Hahaha, i dunno!!!
My Big Blooper
I just got home from the Magandang Morning, Philippines VTR. It was easy, just had to introduce yourself,read the spiel--read and not memorize! Cool, coz i thought we were supposed to deliver it from memory so i kinda memorized it. Then came my blooper. I was asked which presidential candiate i would vote for and why. So i said i was undecided at the moment but it was most probably between Ping Lacson and Raul Roco. Not that i really liked them but because i didn't like GMA, FPJ and Bro. Eddie more.
After that, the guy kinda abruptly said thank you and we'll just contact you if ever we choose you to be our guest host. Your contact number is here naman. So that didn't sound good. On my way out of the building, it suddenly hit me! The freakin' show was PRO-GMA! Damn, how stupid of me to forget! It was what i kept on telling Ria and Cissy when i watched an episode of the show, that it's so obviously PRO-GMA and while i was waiting for the cameramen to arrive a while ago, people wearing GMA for President vests were going in and out of the office! AAAARGH! STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID! I wanna kick myself! OUCH! hehehe Oh well, a really BIG OH WELL!
Saturday, April 17, 2004
Dilemma, again and again!
Am i doing the right thing? I've been applying for corporate jobs with a Communication Degree. I've been feeling inferior and unqualified. Am i to blame for feeling like this because i put myself in this postion?
Should i just stick with my course and apply to broadcasting companies and other media firms? After all, the only reason i'm hunting for corporate jobs is for the money. My brother told me that salary isn't very important yet since i'm just starting. The skills are more important because learning the right skills will bring my places--where there's more income.
"Importante ung skills that you will learn and the people you will come in contact with daily; important ung selling skills that you will learn sa company thru their training programs."---Philip Saria (HEHEHE)
sIGH....i haven't passed my resume to any of the broadcast networks yet, ayaw kasi nila online. Tamad ako hahaha! I should get started na promise! TTHS lang sched ko sa airport so that gives me time to go to the stations.
I hope this works....
Am i doing the right thing? I've been applying for corporate jobs with a Communication Degree. I've been feeling inferior and unqualified. Am i to blame for feeling like this because i put myself in this postion?
Should i just stick with my course and apply to broadcasting companies and other media firms? After all, the only reason i'm hunting for corporate jobs is for the money. My brother told me that salary isn't very important yet since i'm just starting. The skills are more important because learning the right skills will bring my places--where there's more income.
"Importante ung skills that you will learn and the people you will come in contact with daily; important ung selling skills that you will learn sa company thru their training programs."---Philip Saria (HEHEHE)
sIGH....i haven't passed my resume to any of the broadcast networks yet, ayaw kasi nila online. Tamad ako hahaha! I should get started na promise! TTHS lang sched ko sa airport so that gives me time to go to the stations.
I hope this works....
Friday, April 16, 2004
Why I am moody and have an aching back...
Today is physically, mentally and emotionally tiring! I had an interview at Accenture at 9AM but i had to be there 830 to answer an essay question. To top that, they made me research about Accenture and programming work last night! They informed me at 8pm last night, talk about pressure!
I got there 8:45 but still managed to finish the essay: "What is your understanding of Accenture?" before my interview started. The HR person who interviewed me was Ann Bernardo, somehow her name sounds soooo familiar! Anyway, she asked me basic stuff and also probed on my being a Comm major applying at Accenture. Then she asked me a situational question:"Tell me about a time that you had to learn something new and how did you go about it?"
So i talked about my having to do video editing project for CS 175, Intro to Multimedia hehehe. It's really great that i was able to talk to my CS friend and ask him about his interview at Acceture two months ago!
The immediate recommendation of Ms. Bernardo was for me to do my personal research or tutorial about programming languages so i could get a feel if this is really what i would want to do for the next 2 years (there's a 2 year contract once you get accepted). Hmm, i wonder if she just meant well or is it a subtle way of telling me to go to where you belong, Comm major! Hahaha, i'm insecure and paranoid.
I finished the interview at about 10:20 and still had a 10am shift at Terminal 1, NAIA. Yes, i was late! I told the OIC that i would be at the airport by 10:30, but i got there around 11:00 already! Traffic was hell!
At least when i got to the airport, i had a bit of rest. Accenture also bugged me again coz somehow their files weren't updated and this call center agent was asking me to call her back regarding taking the test at Accenture. I already took the test! I had the first interview,too! I was calling her 1:02pm at the airport but it seems like their lunch break is until 1:30pm. So that was an added unnecessary hassle.
Another nuisance done on purpose was that our salary (in cheques) was going to arrive at 5pm--when all the banks are closed already for the weekend. So the only time we can encash it is on Monday. Oh and the bank where the cheque was issued from, is different from before--it used to be Bank of Commerce (there's a branch at the airport), now its Keppel Bank (guess what? no branch at the airport).
My tiring day doesn't end just yet. This co-worker of mine is starting to have an attitude problem and it just annoys and depresses the hell out of me. I can only take so much negativity in one day and i had to be with her for 6 hours. Of course she wasn't annoying all the time, but it's the bad timing of her nagging that gets me riled up.
When i finally got my cheque, the amount was lacking P250. The one issuing our cheques thought i was late on one work day! Aaaaargh, i know i was late today but i wasn't late in timing in EVER--until today. So i told him but he got the rules all wrong...sigh, luckily, there's someone to back me up. Hopefully, it would get settled.
I was on my way home already and it was SUPER DUPER TRAFFIC! I had to pass by Landmark to get a customer's Herbalife orders then i passed by Megamall to fetch my parents. Traffic is sooooo stressful! I can't even look forward to anything tomorrow except that i won't have to wake up very early.
Anonther "depressant" is my very fat and bloated figure because i have a fitting tomorrow for my cousin's wedding. After lunch, i'll be meeting with my customer's niece to give her orders...hey, I'll have money! Yehey!!!! Now, that's finally something to look forward to!
Okay, i feel just a wee bit better! but that beats feeling 100% grumpy!
Relaxing Things To Do
1) Untie those backknots with a massage!
2) Go to the parlor
3) Watch a feel-good/light movie
4) Hang out--mall, house, wherever!
5) Stop giving in to cravings
6) Sleep, sleep, sleep
7) Read a good book
8) Fit into clothes (that i bought before but have never worn yet)
9) Go swimming!
Today is physically, mentally and emotionally tiring! I had an interview at Accenture at 9AM but i had to be there 830 to answer an essay question. To top that, they made me research about Accenture and programming work last night! They informed me at 8pm last night, talk about pressure!
I got there 8:45 but still managed to finish the essay: "What is your understanding of Accenture?" before my interview started. The HR person who interviewed me was Ann Bernardo, somehow her name sounds soooo familiar! Anyway, she asked me basic stuff and also probed on my being a Comm major applying at Accenture. Then she asked me a situational question:"Tell me about a time that you had to learn something new and how did you go about it?"
So i talked about my having to do video editing project for CS 175, Intro to Multimedia hehehe. It's really great that i was able to talk to my CS friend and ask him about his interview at Acceture two months ago!
The immediate recommendation of Ms. Bernardo was for me to do my personal research or tutorial about programming languages so i could get a feel if this is really what i would want to do for the next 2 years (there's a 2 year contract once you get accepted). Hmm, i wonder if she just meant well or is it a subtle way of telling me to go to where you belong, Comm major! Hahaha, i'm insecure and paranoid.
I finished the interview at about 10:20 and still had a 10am shift at Terminal 1, NAIA. Yes, i was late! I told the OIC that i would be at the airport by 10:30, but i got there around 11:00 already! Traffic was hell!
At least when i got to the airport, i had a bit of rest. Accenture also bugged me again coz somehow their files weren't updated and this call center agent was asking me to call her back regarding taking the test at Accenture. I already took the test! I had the first interview,too! I was calling her 1:02pm at the airport but it seems like their lunch break is until 1:30pm. So that was an added unnecessary hassle.
Another nuisance done on purpose was that our salary (in cheques) was going to arrive at 5pm--when all the banks are closed already for the weekend. So the only time we can encash it is on Monday. Oh and the bank where the cheque was issued from, is different from before--it used to be Bank of Commerce (there's a branch at the airport), now its Keppel Bank (guess what? no branch at the airport).
My tiring day doesn't end just yet. This co-worker of mine is starting to have an attitude problem and it just annoys and depresses the hell out of me. I can only take so much negativity in one day and i had to be with her for 6 hours. Of course she wasn't annoying all the time, but it's the bad timing of her nagging that gets me riled up.
When i finally got my cheque, the amount was lacking P250. The one issuing our cheques thought i was late on one work day! Aaaaargh, i know i was late today but i wasn't late in timing in EVER--until today. So i told him but he got the rules all wrong...sigh, luckily, there's someone to back me up. Hopefully, it would get settled.
I was on my way home already and it was SUPER DUPER TRAFFIC! I had to pass by Landmark to get a customer's Herbalife orders then i passed by Megamall to fetch my parents. Traffic is sooooo stressful! I can't even look forward to anything tomorrow except that i won't have to wake up very early.
Anonther "depressant" is my very fat and bloated figure because i have a fitting tomorrow for my cousin's wedding. After lunch, i'll be meeting with my customer's niece to give her orders...hey, I'll have money! Yehey!!!! Now, that's finally something to look forward to!
Okay, i feel just a wee bit better! but that beats feeling 100% grumpy!
Relaxing Things To Do
1) Untie those backknots with a massage!
2) Go to the parlor
3) Watch a feel-good/light movie
4) Hang out--mall, house, wherever!
5) Stop giving in to cravings
6) Sleep, sleep, sleep
7) Read a good book
8) Fit into clothes (that i bought before but have never worn yet)
9) Go swimming!
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
3 jOB INTERVIEWS and a VTR!
It's funny how all my job interviews and job VTR fell on the same day! I dunno if i would consider it as a convenience or inconvenience. Anyway, here's how my ultra-hectic day went...
PPI Global Online Marketing and Business Solutions
I got this job opening at JobsOnline and of course, believed that it was legit. Turns out, PPI stands for Platinum Plans Insurance! Imagine, i was hurrying to get to their office at Edsa, Pasay on Baclaran Day just to find out that they're an insurance company! I was laughing to myself (silently, of course) while waiting for my turn to be interviewed. I was grossly overdressed in my "business attire" that would be considered sloppy in the Makati area. All of a sudden, i wasn't so concerned that my attire didn't fit me perfectly. People came in sleevless tops and jeans, had newspaper clippings of job openings attached to their resumes--all waiting in line as we were entertained by the persisitent shouting of the bus barker outside. It was pathetic, really. I was fooled! Hahaha, but i didn't consider it as a waste of time--il just charge it to experience.
After "my interview" which consisted of What do all the members of your family do? What are your strengths and weaknesses? and the interviewer told me to come back for an orientation and training the next day. No siree, i don't like selling insurance--even if it's a junior manager position--i don't want to be in the insurance business!
1Wrangler
I got there around 2:25 and the contact person, Em Lingao, wasn't there yet! I got to chat with the La Salle girl who graduated last January, LiaCom: Marketing and Psychology. She's really nice. Her interview was supposed to be at 2pm and she made me go ahead since i told her i had to be at Accenture by 4pm.
Postion we're vying for is Brand/Marketing Assistant. Mr. Lingao said time is quite flexible and there's no bureaucracy, poltics bullshit in the company coz it's a family-owned business. The only downside, he said, is that the culture is kinda backwards (memos instead of e-mails) and conservative since most of the employees have been there for around 20 years already! Talk about OLD. If i get the job, it's off to negotiating with clients, a bit of advertising, events organizing, etc. He says it's not a glamour job, but i think it's fun and challenging! Only if it pays well, i hope....
Accenture
I was there at 3:20pm but the guard won't let me in so i waited at Starbucks across the street. Oh, just an aside, Starbucks has upgrade-the-size-of-your-coffee-for-free promo until April 30. So i got an iced grande latte for the price of an iced tall latte.
Anyway, i finally went in the office and signed my name at the registration form. I saw a handful of UP grads above my name. I was then given an entry-level application form and led to a room full of computers to fill out the form. I didn't even know what position i was applying for coz my friend, Walter Uy, just forwarded my resume to his friend who works for accenture. It was after we finished filling out the form that 2 girls gave us a screening orientation and company overview. Turns out that we were all being considered for 2 entry-level positions: one for Technology Solutions (technical computer programming stuff) and Service Workforce (US clients business outsourcing--letting us do their dirty document checking work) But the thing is, since the clients are from US, we gotta follow US time and ususally, they said, we'll be facing the computer for eight hours. Sounds harsh, but if it means i get a laptop, then i'm game! Hehehehe.
After the orientation, we were made to take 7 tests for about 2 hours! I felt like i was taking the ACET again, only there were no abstract tests. There was a handful of English stuff like grammar, verbal sumthing, logic, analysis and the inescapable math! I think i did pretty well--not great, but not bad either. I hope i pass stage one =) I think i'm the only one who's not a business or computer major there! Major OP, but they said they were accepting people from all courses since they're providing training naman--can be locally or in other countries. Sounds really nice and my friend says that Accenture pays high but not as high as Unilever and P&G. Ok na rin yun!
Magandang Morning Philippines
After hassling the driver to get my VTR clothes at home and go back to Makati, i ended up not going to the VTR. It was 7:12pm already when i finished the tedious exam and the VTR was only till 8pm at Malate. My friend, Cissy, who told me about the audition, said that we could still have the VTR next Wednesday. Whew!
Hay, job hunting is hard work! I haven't even prepared my portfolio for Summit Media application! There's realy SOOO many things to attend to! Things like getting flat abs, eating right, resume stuff, applying, website, flash...etcetera, etcetera, etcetara..
Before i go, i just wanna say that i want to have abs like Britney Spears! Hahaha, it would be a dream come true!
It's funny how all my job interviews and job VTR fell on the same day! I dunno if i would consider it as a convenience or inconvenience. Anyway, here's how my ultra-hectic day went...
PPI Global Online Marketing and Business Solutions
I got this job opening at JobsOnline and of course, believed that it was legit. Turns out, PPI stands for Platinum Plans Insurance! Imagine, i was hurrying to get to their office at Edsa, Pasay on Baclaran Day just to find out that they're an insurance company! I was laughing to myself (silently, of course) while waiting for my turn to be interviewed. I was grossly overdressed in my "business attire" that would be considered sloppy in the Makati area. All of a sudden, i wasn't so concerned that my attire didn't fit me perfectly. People came in sleevless tops and jeans, had newspaper clippings of job openings attached to their resumes--all waiting in line as we were entertained by the persisitent shouting of the bus barker outside. It was pathetic, really. I was fooled! Hahaha, but i didn't consider it as a waste of time--il just charge it to experience.
After "my interview" which consisted of What do all the members of your family do? What are your strengths and weaknesses? and the interviewer told me to come back for an orientation and training the next day. No siree, i don't like selling insurance--even if it's a junior manager position--i don't want to be in the insurance business!
1Wrangler
I got there around 2:25 and the contact person, Em Lingao, wasn't there yet! I got to chat with the La Salle girl who graduated last January, LiaCom: Marketing and Psychology. She's really nice. Her interview was supposed to be at 2pm and she made me go ahead since i told her i had to be at Accenture by 4pm.
Postion we're vying for is Brand/Marketing Assistant. Mr. Lingao said time is quite flexible and there's no bureaucracy, poltics bullshit in the company coz it's a family-owned business. The only downside, he said, is that the culture is kinda backwards (memos instead of e-mails) and conservative since most of the employees have been there for around 20 years already! Talk about OLD. If i get the job, it's off to negotiating with clients, a bit of advertising, events organizing, etc. He says it's not a glamour job, but i think it's fun and challenging! Only if it pays well, i hope....
Accenture
I was there at 3:20pm but the guard won't let me in so i waited at Starbucks across the street. Oh, just an aside, Starbucks has upgrade-the-size-of-your-coffee-for-free promo until April 30. So i got an iced grande latte for the price of an iced tall latte.
Anyway, i finally went in the office and signed my name at the registration form. I saw a handful of UP grads above my name. I was then given an entry-level application form and led to a room full of computers to fill out the form. I didn't even know what position i was applying for coz my friend, Walter Uy, just forwarded my resume to his friend who works for accenture. It was after we finished filling out the form that 2 girls gave us a screening orientation and company overview. Turns out that we were all being considered for 2 entry-level positions: one for Technology Solutions (technical computer programming stuff) and Service Workforce (US clients business outsourcing--letting us do their dirty document checking work) But the thing is, since the clients are from US, we gotta follow US time and ususally, they said, we'll be facing the computer for eight hours. Sounds harsh, but if it means i get a laptop, then i'm game! Hehehehe.
After the orientation, we were made to take 7 tests for about 2 hours! I felt like i was taking the ACET again, only there were no abstract tests. There was a handful of English stuff like grammar, verbal sumthing, logic, analysis and the inescapable math! I think i did pretty well--not great, but not bad either. I hope i pass stage one =) I think i'm the only one who's not a business or computer major there! Major OP, but they said they were accepting people from all courses since they're providing training naman--can be locally or in other countries. Sounds really nice and my friend says that Accenture pays high but not as high as Unilever and P&G. Ok na rin yun!
Magandang Morning Philippines
After hassling the driver to get my VTR clothes at home and go back to Makati, i ended up not going to the VTR. It was 7:12pm already when i finished the tedious exam and the VTR was only till 8pm at Malate. My friend, Cissy, who told me about the audition, said that we could still have the VTR next Wednesday. Whew!
Hay, job hunting is hard work! I haven't even prepared my portfolio for Summit Media application! There's realy SOOO many things to attend to! Things like getting flat abs, eating right, resume stuff, applying, website, flash...etcetera, etcetera, etcetara..
Before i go, i just wanna say that i want to have abs like Britney Spears! Hahaha, it would be a dream come true!
Saturday, April 10, 2004
Sigh. Grabe talaga!
Kasi diba i just came from the retreat and one topic was about anger and how to let go and forgive others. I thought it was so easy, kasi i was merely thinking about ung minsan naiinis ka or nagagalit ka sa parents or bro/sis or bf, pero mahal mo naman talaga sila so kayang ioverpower ng love ung galit mo so, forgiving is not difficult to do.
Eh pano kung someone hurt you and the one you love? kung ako lang, kaya ko! pero the person i love was also hurt and hindi ko mapalipas yun....sigh
may story nga dun sa retreat about anger....
a teacher told her students to bring potatoes to school. They were asked to write down the names of the people they were angry with on each potato. One name per potato. Afterwards, they had to put all the potatoes with names on a bag and they'd have to crry the bag around everywhere they went--when they're eating, at the toilet, in school, even in bed!
The students learned that carrying the sack of potatoes was such a burdern to them, just like harboring ill feelings toward others become a burdent to your own emotional health.
Sigh. I thought it was so easy to forgive, but i thought wrong.
I was chatting with a friend through YM and suddenly a person--let's name his Person X--requests to add me in his YM. I was surprised why Person X knew my email add and knew that i was online! I didn't want to add him coz i still have ill feelings toward him, i coulnd't forget what he did before.
It turns out that my friend gave him my addy coz Person X was asking who was online. It was an honest mistake on his part and he apologized naman saying that he shouldv'e confirmed with me first. No biggie naman on that. I just went invisi and ignored Person X hehehe.
But the bad thing is that the memories came rushing back and i'm still hurt and i really feel angry about what he did and what happend--all the more because he isn't sorry for what he did and even insisits on his innocence.
Sigh. It's so hard pala. Very, very hard.
I wanna cry because i feel so uneasy inside, there's a heavy, uncomfortable feeling in my chest, sigh.
I was really hoping i could change for the better this year and have peace within my self and with others..but it seems that i can't seem to let go of the hurts that i've gone through in the past....
So, help me GOD!
Kasi diba i just came from the retreat and one topic was about anger and how to let go and forgive others. I thought it was so easy, kasi i was merely thinking about ung minsan naiinis ka or nagagalit ka sa parents or bro/sis or bf, pero mahal mo naman talaga sila so kayang ioverpower ng love ung galit mo so, forgiving is not difficult to do.
Eh pano kung someone hurt you and the one you love? kung ako lang, kaya ko! pero the person i love was also hurt and hindi ko mapalipas yun....sigh
may story nga dun sa retreat about anger....
a teacher told her students to bring potatoes to school. They were asked to write down the names of the people they were angry with on each potato. One name per potato. Afterwards, they had to put all the potatoes with names on a bag and they'd have to crry the bag around everywhere they went--when they're eating, at the toilet, in school, even in bed!
The students learned that carrying the sack of potatoes was such a burdern to them, just like harboring ill feelings toward others become a burdent to your own emotional health.
Sigh. I thought it was so easy to forgive, but i thought wrong.
I was chatting with a friend through YM and suddenly a person--let's name his Person X--requests to add me in his YM. I was surprised why Person X knew my email add and knew that i was online! I didn't want to add him coz i still have ill feelings toward him, i coulnd't forget what he did before.
It turns out that my friend gave him my addy coz Person X was asking who was online. It was an honest mistake on his part and he apologized naman saying that he shouldv'e confirmed with me first. No biggie naman on that. I just went invisi and ignored Person X hehehe.
But the bad thing is that the memories came rushing back and i'm still hurt and i really feel angry about what he did and what happend--all the more because he isn't sorry for what he did and even insisits on his innocence.
Sigh. It's so hard pala. Very, very hard.
I wanna cry because i feel so uneasy inside, there's a heavy, uncomfortable feeling in my chest, sigh.
I was really hoping i could change for the better this year and have peace within my self and with others..but it seems that i can't seem to let go of the hurts that i've gone through in the past....
So, help me GOD!
I just came back from our Church Retreat in Baguio at 5am this morning..my assesment? Hmmm, it wasn't so bad after all! I don't know why, but things seemed to work well this year.
The hall we were staying in was renovated so we had our own toilet in our room and i was assigned to stay with sisters from Church who were all older than me--but not too much of course. My roommates' ages ranged from 23-34 so we're more or less still around the COSMO age group hehehe.
It was fun, actually and an enlightening experience. =) It opened my eyes to the reality of how i really was. So hopefully, the experience would help me change and become a better person. hehehe Good Luck to me
The hall we were staying in was renovated so we had our own toilet in our room and i was assigned to stay with sisters from Church who were all older than me--but not too much of course. My roommates' ages ranged from 23-34 so we're more or less still around the COSMO age group hehehe.
It was fun, actually and an enlightening experience. =) It opened my eyes to the reality of how i really was. So hopefully, the experience would help me change and become a better person. hehehe Good Luck to me
Sunday, April 04, 2004
I'm feeling DEPRESSED again...FAT and DEPRESSED.... Can i just forget about all my problems? can i just lie down, and wake up the next day with a clean slate? Yeah, i know the answer's NO. life sucks.
Why am i not determined enough? Why am i so emotional? Why why why? Why can't i overcome my weakness? I feel so weak and useless and pathetic. Grrrrrr. I have failed, again and again and again.
I'm so tired of failing. My life is an entire failure!
Sigh, i just don't feel good about myself right now......
Why am i not determined enough? Why am i so emotional? Why why why? Why can't i overcome my weakness? I feel so weak and useless and pathetic. Grrrrrr. I have failed, again and again and again.
I'm so tired of failing. My life is an entire failure!
Sigh, i just don't feel good about myself right now......
Thursday, April 01, 2004
April Fools' Day! I'm here at the airport working the whole day...it's 20:42 already on the digital timers hanging above the arrival area. I'm stationed here at the Passenger Assistance Counter, which i heard was a "bahay kubo" before--some kind of gimmick that the Department of Tourism thought of to show how Filipino the Philippines is! (haha, pathetic).
Anyway, i just finished giving international roaming flyers to passengers who came from Singapore. Before that, i was surprised to see someone i know by our booth, asking what i was doing here. Believe me, it's not someone i'm excited to see again after a long time...
20:53 already, just an hour and few minutes before 10pm and i'm free! Well, just for tonight coz i have a shift again tomorrow and Saturday, too. I also have another work tomorrow night and Saturday night after my airport shift ends at 4pm. Am i a workaholic? No, i just got lucky this weekend.
Where will you be this Holy Week/
Some of the Globe models will be working at Boracay; my friend Mod, who is here with me, will also be going to Boracay but for Marlboro; My closer friends Mewa, Cathy and Ria, etc. are planning to go to Hong Kong. How about me? SIGH. I'll be at a Church Conference at Teachers' Camp, Baguio City.
How depressing is that?! I think i've been attending this conference since time immemorial--since i was in Grade 5, so that's 1997, i think! I just missed one last year when i went with my boyfriend to their province in Mauban, Quezon. That was FANTASTIC, no doubt about it! But of course, my mom went to Baguio alone last year with a heavy heart so she made me promise that i'd go with her this year. SIGH. THIS SUCKS!
I really hate going to that conference. To put it simply, i just can't relate...I don't know anyone, ain't close or beyond "hi" "hello" speaking terms with anyone. No one really knows what i'm really going through! All the spiritual and religious stuff being taught there is too abstract, too idealistic for me to apply in my life.
I swear next year i won't be going! I'll find a job that would allow me NOT to go or i'll just say that i don't want to go! That's that. SIGH. Why can't i be normal? Have a vacation or go to the beach during Holy Week? It's soo depressing, i'd rather not think about it.
Anyway, i just finished giving international roaming flyers to passengers who came from Singapore. Before that, i was surprised to see someone i know by our booth, asking what i was doing here. Believe me, it's not someone i'm excited to see again after a long time...
20:53 already, just an hour and few minutes before 10pm and i'm free! Well, just for tonight coz i have a shift again tomorrow and Saturday, too. I also have another work tomorrow night and Saturday night after my airport shift ends at 4pm. Am i a workaholic? No, i just got lucky this weekend.
Where will you be this Holy Week/
Some of the Globe models will be working at Boracay; my friend Mod, who is here with me, will also be going to Boracay but for Marlboro; My closer friends Mewa, Cathy and Ria, etc. are planning to go to Hong Kong. How about me? SIGH. I'll be at a Church Conference at Teachers' Camp, Baguio City.
How depressing is that?! I think i've been attending this conference since time immemorial--since i was in Grade 5, so that's 1997, i think! I just missed one last year when i went with my boyfriend to their province in Mauban, Quezon. That was FANTASTIC, no doubt about it! But of course, my mom went to Baguio alone last year with a heavy heart so she made me promise that i'd go with her this year. SIGH. THIS SUCKS!
I really hate going to that conference. To put it simply, i just can't relate...I don't know anyone, ain't close or beyond "hi" "hello" speaking terms with anyone. No one really knows what i'm really going through! All the spiritual and religious stuff being taught there is too abstract, too idealistic for me to apply in my life.
I swear next year i won't be going! I'll find a job that would allow me NOT to go or i'll just say that i don't want to go! That's that. SIGH. Why can't i be normal? Have a vacation or go to the beach during Holy Week? It's soo depressing, i'd rather not think about it.
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