Sigh. Grabe talaga!

Kasi diba i just came from the retreat and one topic was about anger and how to let go and forgive others. I thought it was so easy, kasi i was merely thinking about ung minsan naiinis ka or nagagalit ka sa parents or bro/sis or bf, pero mahal mo naman talaga sila so kayang ioverpower ng love ung galit mo so, forgiving is not difficult to do.

Eh pano kung someone hurt you and the one you love? kung ako lang, kaya ko! pero the person i love was also hurt and hindi ko mapalipas yun....sigh

may story nga dun sa retreat about anger....
a teacher told her students to bring potatoes to school. They were asked to write down the names of the people they were angry with on each potato. One name per potato. Afterwards, they had to put all the potatoes with names on a bag and they'd have to crry the bag around everywhere they went--when they're eating, at the toilet, in school, even in bed!
The students learned that carrying the sack of potatoes was such a burdern to them, just like harboring ill feelings toward others become a burdent to your own emotional health.

Sigh. I thought it was so easy to forgive, but i thought wrong.

I was chatting with a friend through YM and suddenly a person--let's name his Person X--requests to add me in his YM. I was surprised why Person X knew my email add and knew that i was online! I didn't want to add him coz i still have ill feelings toward him, i coulnd't forget what he did before.

It turns out that my friend gave him my addy coz Person X was asking who was online. It was an honest mistake on his part and he apologized naman saying that he shouldv'e confirmed with me first. No biggie naman on that. I just went invisi and ignored Person X hehehe.

But the bad thing is that the memories came rushing back and i'm still hurt and i really feel angry about what he did and what happend--all the more because he isn't sorry for what he did and even insisits on his innocence.

Sigh. It's so hard pala. Very, very hard.

I wanna cry because i feel so uneasy inside, there's a heavy, uncomfortable feeling in my chest, sigh.

I was really hoping i could change for the better this year and have peace within my self and with others..but it seems that i can't seem to let go of the hurts that i've gone through in the past....

So, help me GOD!