Random Thoughts
Nothing really significant to say, but i just feel like blogging, whatever comes to mind...

Have i written down that i'm planning to have my hair curled? Big sexy curls and just for a day to see if it suits me. It's kinda ironic coz when i finally achieve a somewhat enviable straight hair, i suddenly get bored with it and want to try a different 'do. Anyway, my hair will of course grow back to being straight if ever i decide to get a perm.

My television is tuned to FashionTV right now and i'm watching models again--perfect hair, perfect body, perfect face, perfect everything. How come their boobs look so firm even without a bra? Is that some kind of trick?

Anyway, i realized just recently that i need not be a model with perfect everything to feel beautiful and sexy (duhhh!) I guess i should have realized this a long time ago but hey, i just did recently. It's nice to feel appreciated and accepted for who i am right now. No conditions,no pressures, just all natural me. Ain't that cool?

I am the girl with a lot of personal issues. Most of my friends dont' know this, only very very very select people know what my issues are. This is because I dont' have much friends whom i had serious heart-to-heart talks with yet. I dunno, sometimes i feel that maybe they're not ready yet to encounter the problematic me. I always project this cheerful and carefree disposition when i'm with my friends. That's why they think that my life's all sunny and fun. Well, i try to make it like that but of course there's stil so much bitterness and 'issues' to deal with each day. I'm just glad that those who know my issues weren't freaked out and are still here for me through it all.

I just finished reading an intense book last night: Eleven Minutes by Paolo Coelho. 'Intense' not just because it deals with the life and activites of a prostitute but because it's about her search for love and a 'sacred' kind of love making. I loved the way the story was told--oh it's based on a true story, by the way--first person and with a diary even. I love books like that coz i like knowing what the character thinks, feels, and dreams. I'm able to relate more, especially on the character's diary entries. Sometimes i just get shocked to see that i have a very similar entry/thought as her. What a coincidence!

The next book i want to read is Claim of Beauty. My friend says it's a different perspective to the Snow White fairy tale. I think Dan Brown mentioned something about it in his Da Vinci Code---the ancient practice of reverence for women that was abolished by the Church is still discreetly being passed on through fairy tales (think of the protagonists, all women right?), songs, etc.

Have i also mentioned that i'm a frustrated singer? When i'm bored and need to destress, i just turn to the karaoke channel on Destiny cable. They usually feature songs of the 80s or earlier and it just excites me, hahahaha! I find songs during those times easier and more soulful to sing than the new ones now. Could it be the lyrics or the classical tunes? Anyway, i just croon my heart out without caring if my parents or the neighbors hear me. Hey, i do have a decent singing voice, albeit in alto.

I think it's obvious by now that i am lonely when i'm in my room and have no one to talk to. Why would i write my thoughts as if i were talking to someone or to an audience? It really beats talking to myself in front of the mirror, in my thoughts or out loud. Whoever is reading this now probably thinks i'm a really weird person. Well, so i am, that's just me!