Stress & Freedom

Stressed. Stressed. Stressed.

Now I can use my Satsuma Oil Reed Diffuser that I specifically bought for situations like these. Although I realize now that its a 'subtle' type of air freshener so I sniffed on the bottle with oil for the meantime since I need a quick fix.

Things that de-stress me
1) Nature
2) Relaxing Music (oldies, acoustic, easy listening.. basta not noisy rock )
2) Surfing the net
3) Going to a mall that has good AC, few people, and nice things to look at

Freaky Freedom.

I just realized now that freedom is freaky. I've never had this level and type of freedom ever.

Of course when I was a kid, there's the rules of the school, of the parents, etc. Then at 16 i got into my first relationship with a very controlling boyfriend - that was for 5 and a half years. Then during the 9 months that I was 'technically' single, I was in this 'MU' stage with someone so basically it's the same thing without the label. Then after that, I got into my 2nd relationship which I am currently in. But now my boyfriend is in the States and he's a promoter of individuality so I have this unique kind of freedom but the assurance as well that I would still have someone when this long wait is over.

The problem is that I am only dealing with my inner demons just now because I've never had the chance to face them before since I was always focused on being in a relationship.

Mahirap pala.

There's so many tempatations these days and it's up to me and only me to restrain and stop myself. If I don't stop myself, then no one will. Scary!!!

I'm actually responsible for my own actions and my actions have grave consequences.

Sheesh. Why am I only learning this now??

I was just presented with an idea a while ago and good, obedient Grace would say "No" but then I realized that I could technically do it and no one's around to stop me.

The possibility actually frightened me.

I need to setup my own limitations and boundaries. Oh man!!!